You Promised
by The Solar Surfer
Summary: Tadashi races to save Callaghan, but he never makes it. He must then deal with the consequences of his decision. Eventual Spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the movie. [Tadashi Lives]
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I watched Big Hero 6 some weeks ago and I still think a certain character death was unwarranted. So, I wrote this in response, because I refuse to accept fictional deaths.**

**Some spoilers if you haven't watched the movie yet.**

**(This is also part of a larger fic, in which events change accordingly to the survival of this particular character, but it involves an OC in a major role and I feel that this was the only part of the story that was really cathartic for me). **

**I might post the rest of the story for anyone that asks. Its not done yet, though, and like I said before, features an OC, and I guess that might be a turn-off for some. It would still follow the Yokai storyline, since Tadashi's survival hasn't stopped anything. I think Hiro would still use Baymax &amp; Co. to stop him, but keep their superhero moonlighting a secret. Hilarity and drama ensues.**

**Tadashi would be the narrator for the whole thing, probably.  
**  
**EDIT 11/5/16: changed the circumstances of Tadashi's survival. No one saves him this time around.**

* * *

**Chapter One**

* * *

_ FWOOOM _ !

The building exploded.

He went flying backwards.

Tadashi felt weightless. Kind of like a dream, one of the nice ones where he floated gently, safe and in control. A part of him didn't want it to end, this sort of peaceful air, but the sight before him – the building expanding, bursting apart, flames surging out in a devilish cloud – reminded Tadashi that that could've been him, in there, inside, had he been a little faster.

The flight came to an abrupt end with Tadashi landing on his back. The wind was knocked straight out of him and Tadashi just lied there on the ground, in a breathless daze. He looked up at the sky, admiring the pretty red sparks in the clouds, unable to grasp that he had failed (survived), that he was too late (safe), that Professor Callaghan was…

The word escaped him.

Help. He had to get help. Tadashi shook his head, regained his senses and was about to get up, search for his phone, but another face filled his vision, one all too familiar.

The boy was shouting right into his face. At first, Tadashi couldn't hear because his ears were ringing, but slowly the voice came into focus. "…Tadashi! _ Tadashi _ ! Are you all right?"

"I'm okay, little bro," He sat himself up, rubbed his aching shoulder. It had taken the brunt of his fall. All things considering, it could've been a lot worse. Tadashi took a deep breath, trying to fully comprehend his utter luck. "I-I'm okay."

"Then what _ were you thinking, knucklehead _ ?!" Hiro's face switched from concern to rage in an instant. Tadashi didn't know what to expect when his little brother raised his arms and started hitting Tadashi, his head, his chest, punctuating his own words with each blow. They weren't so much punches as glancing slaps. "You know you're not supposed to go into a burning building if you're already outside! It's, like, a law or something!"

"Ow, ow, okay, okay, Hiro! I get the message!" Tadashi relented, bringing up his arms to defend against the slaps. Truthfully, Hiro didn't hurt him, hadn't intended to. In fact, it helped wake Tadashi up a bit, got him to focus. "Look, I was just trying to do a good thing!"

"So? You're not a firefighter, Tadashi! You're my brother!" Hiro snapped back, but his previous ire was starting to ebb. His voice grew high and wavering, cracking near the end. "What was I supposed to do if you were – if you were gone? Who's supposed to make fun of me, who's supposed to sure I don't – I-I don't…I c-can't…"

There was a painful yank in Tadashi's gut as he watched the tears well up in Hiro's eyes. The boy covered his face to hide them, but Tadashi didn't care. Without a word, he enveloped his younger brother in the tightest hug his arms could allow. Had he been in that building, to save Professor Callaghan like he wanted to, he wouldn't be here right now with Hiro. He held on, horrified by the irrational thought that Hiro might be ripped away from him by the cruel hands of Fate, who still wanted her tragedy.

The thought of leaving Hiro terrified him. Only now Tadashi realized how foolish he was, to go diving into the fire without a second thought. What would his parents think? Unlike Hiro, Tadashi had been old enough to remember the both of them, and they knew all too well of their oldest son's penchant for trying to do the right thing, no matter how much trouble it put himself in.

Tadashi could still hear his father's voice, chastising him: _ Brave, yet stupid. _

After they died, Tadashi had promised Hiro he would always be there for him.

He closed his eyes, squeezed tighter, and rubbed the back of Hiro's head, touching his soft hair. Today, he had broken that promise.

"I'm sorry, Hiro," Tadashi whispered and a long silence stretched out, filled only by the sound of crackling fire and the soft sobs of the boy. He didn't know how he was going to make it up to Hiro (besides not trying to die). "I promise, I'll never do that again."

"You better not," Hiro sniffed, drawing back and scowling at his older brother. Tadashi couldn't help but smile - even though Hiro was angry at him, Tadashi couldn't help but appreciate the fact that he was still here to see it. "Do you know how upset Aunt Cass would be when she found you jumped into a burning building? You know what that would do to her? To me?"

"Yeah, I know," he muttered, getting a little annoyed with the prolonged guilt trip, but knowing better than to complain. It was his fault this happened, and now he had to face the consequences. "I just got lucky."

"Which doesn't make any sense," Hiro said, getting off of Tadashi to pick up his baseball hat that had fallen to the ground some feet away. "Because you weren't wearing your lucky hat." He came back over and stuck it on Tadashi's had, made sure it fit snug. "You can't lose it again."

"Oh, right," Tadashi smiled weakly, raising a hand to rest on his hat. The San Fransokyo Dragons were the best baseball team in the entire state — every game Tadashi went to wearing that hat with SFIT's logo, they won. He didn't even remember it falling off. "How could I forget?"

"Clearly not one of your best moments," Hiro said, falling back into his usual self-assured demeanor. Tadashi took this as cue that Hiro had forgiven him.

"All right, all right, I get it. Let's go before Aunt Cass starts to worry."

Tadashi muttered; the teasing was getting a little old now. There were sirens in the distance; help was finally coming.

Unfortunately, the only way Aunt Cass wouldn't have worried is if they had both stayed home that night.

Since that was impossible, Aunt Cass was _ freaking out. _

When they found her, Cass was pacing back and forth, wringing her hands together and muttering to herself. She was with the rest of crowd, around the path and up the hill where the first police cars arrived. Cass didn't notice them at first, when the two brothers had made their way back. Most were people here had been attending the science fair, and were easy to get lost amongst the chaos. Some were being treated by paramedics and loaded into ambulances, but no one seemed particularly injured. The two had to look around a bit, trying to sift through the numerous faces and voices, until they saw their aunt and called out to her. Aunt Cass picked her head up with a gasp, then tackled both Tadashi and Hiro in a mighty bear hug.

"Oh, my god, you're all right!" Aunt Cass cried, looking to be near tears, dark red hair frazzled. All this crying around, Tadashi wasn't sure he could keep it in himself. She backed up, grabbed both of their faces to examine them, saying, "Are either of you hurt? Were you inside the building?"

"No, we showed up when we saw what happened," Tadashi said, trying to pull out of his aunt's iron grip. But Cass was not to be defeated. She fixed him with a shocked look.

"You didn't go _inside_, did you?" she demanded, jaw dropping and green eyes going wide. Tadashi almost cursed. He had underestimated how well she knew him. Aunt Cass took his non-answer thusly. "Tadashi! I can't believe you! Don't you know how dangerous that is?"

"Yeah, I know, I-I just wanted to save Professor Callaghan," Tadashi looked down, finally pulling out of Cass's hand. She looked up at him, frowning, but he couldn't meet her eyes. "He was still inside when it…when the building just…"

"It blew up," Hiro finished baldly, earning a frustrated look from his older brother. But Hiro ignored him, seemed to be pleased with humbling Tadashi further. Upon retrospect, Tadashi would understand Hiro's lack of respect for Professor Callaghan's life as one for his own; a respect that manifested into teasing, because of course it did.

He smacked Hiro's shoulder, about to say something before Aunt Cass cut them off. "That's enough, you two. Tadashi, don't ever do something like that again, you understand? I really don't want to have to ground a full-grown man, even if you are my boy." She heaved a deep sigh, hands on her hips as she led them away. "It's been a long night, and it seems like everyone wants me to get fat by stressing me out. I'm going to eat _ so many _ donuts when I get home…"

The two boys were checked by the paramedics before they could leave. Hiro was fine, and Tadashi had only managed to earn a couple bruises – he didn't even get burned, unless you counted having all the hair on his arms getting singed off. The word 'luck' was thrown around again.

He had to tell the police about Professor Callaghan, who was yet to be found. The officer writing down his statement did not seem surprised by this information, so Tadashi assumed they already knew. He wondered if they even believed there was a chance Callaghan was still alive. Was it still a rescue mission? Or was it just a search-and-recover now? He tried to urge them to do something, to work faster, anything that could help — but the police just sent him away, telling him to calm down, that they were doing the best they could. To him, Tadashi thought he was being perfectly reasonable, acting rationally. But that was apparently not the impression the police had; Tadashi head heard a couple cops whispering amongst themselves about 'shock' and 'trauma'.

It made Tadashi angry — he knew what he saw, but he had no proof and couldn't remember enough to say otherwise.

The cops eventually let the Hamada's go home, all still in one piece. Tadashi, already exhausted, couldn't believe he had to climb three stories just to get to his bed. But it would be soft and safe, so he decided it would be worth it…even if he had to carry a sleeping Hiro, whom he decided not to wake up.

Aunt Cass gave each of them a last kiss goodnight before ushering them to bed. The room was dark when he got up there, but something big and furry brushed past Tadashi's leg as he entered – Mochi, their Calico cat, welcomed him home by rubbing against his legs. Tadashi would have pet him if his arms weren't full of teenage angst.

He set Hiro on his bed — the boy curled up into the sheets almost instinctively, mumbling something that Tadashi couldn't quite understand. Before he fell asleep, Hiro had been berating Tadashi and making fun of him. It was quite a turnaround in behavior after their conversation in the direct aftermath of the explosion. But Tadashi took this to mean that Hiro was back to his old self and was merely trying to get things back to normal as quickly as possible.

It made him smile a little. Nothing could faze Hiro.

He flopped down onto his own bed, so glad to meet the pillow that he didn't bother with the sheets. After the fire, Tadashi felt too warm all over, like somehow he was still reliving the experience. He remembered to kick off his shoes before falling asleep, however, and felt Mochi jump onto his bed. The cat kneaded the blankets and curled up against the back of his knees, purring like a lawnmower. The sound soothed his thoughts of the fire and he closed his eyes.

And Tadashi drifted off, glad to be home.

(●—●)

He awoke later that night — 2:32 AM, if his clock was telling the truth - to movement on his bed. Tadashi thought it was Mochi moving around, but the cat wasn't that heavy, or that big. He was almost too tired to look around, but did so anyways, wondering what could have woken him up at this time of night (better not be serial killers).

It was Hiro. Eyes half-lidded and hair even messier than usual, Tadashi's younger brother crawled onto the bed. He fell into the unoccupied space on Tadashi's side, huddled right up next to him. His hair got into Tadashi's nose and he almost sneezed — it still smelt like smoke, and it reminded him once again of what might have happened.

But he didn't try to push Hiro off or tell him to _ go away, you have your own bed _ or _you're taking up too much space._ Tadashi didn't speak or laugh at him or make him feel embarrassed for being scared at night — just pretended he was still sleeping as Hiro wrapped his skinny arms around his older brother, like a baby koala, burying his head into Tadashi's side and sighing with contentment.

The two brothers went back to sleep.

* * *

**idk if you guys know this, but I've done some fanart for BH6, and this fanfic in particular. I'm not sure if the link works, but I'd like you guys to see it, since I like to think it complements my writing :)**

**Just copy-paste into toolbar and delete extra spaces and brackets**

**the-solar-surfer . devia ntart . c [om]/art/You-Promised-505848507**


	2. Chapter 2

**EDIT 11/5/2016: Changed the memory.**

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**Chapter Two**

* * *

Tadashi didn't know how long it would take for things to get back to normal again.

But he didn't think it would be the next morning.

Aunt Cass opened the Lucky Cat Cafe at nine o'clock, at the same time as she had been doing every day for the past twenty years. The two brothers rose to the smell of coffee being brewed and donuts being baked - a custom so traditional that for the first thirty minutes Tadashi had completely forgotten what had happened the night before.

He got up before Hiro did and took a shower, because he smelled weird. Standing under the shower-head, Tadashi stared at the drain and wondered why all the water that was washing off of him was coming out a strange grey/brown color.

Tadashi didn't know what to make of it. Later, he went downstairs in fresh clothes and still-damp hair, to help Aunt Cass man the cafe. She was busy serving customers, making their drinks and ensuring that none of the baked goods got burned while in the oven or toaster. Tadashi usually did the extraneous things, like cleaning the counter and tables, refilling the napkin holders, or washing the dishes.

The first thing Tadashi would do when coming down the stairs was say hello to his aunt and take up the first thing he saw. This happened to be dishes – Sunday was notorious for midday brunches, and this day was as busy as any other.

Tadashi had just picked up a bin filled with dirty plates and had carried it over to the sink in the back, when he started listening to the chatter filtering in through the cafe.

"..._did you hear_...?"

"..._last night, at the SFIT's science exhibition._.."

"..._awful fire._.."

"..._could hear the sirens all over the city_..."

"..._there was nothing left_..."

It hit Tadashi like a brick wall. Flashes of the burning building, the heat on his skin –_ so close, so close_ – the gale force winds as the columns crumpled like paper –

– _Callaghan still inside –__  
__  
– Hiro screaming –__  
__  
KL-KRSSH!__  
_  
Tadashi jumped, the loud noise bringing him back to the present. He looked down, saw the shattered plate, and for a moment couldn't move. He looked at his hands, but they were blurry. He realized, after a moment, that they are shaking, and he can barely see through the sudden tears in his eyes.

"Tadashi, is everything all –?"Aunt Cass rushed in to see Tadashi on the floor, with his back against the cabinet, face pressed to his knees and fingers knotted in his hair, surrounded by shards of porcelain and shaking slightly.

"_Oh_." She dropped to her knees, resting a hand on his shoulder. Tadashi jumped, looking up at his aunt through red eyes. Cass froze for a second, taking in the sight of him before saying in soft tones, "How about you take the day off, okay? I can take care of the cafe by myself, don't worry."

"No." Tadashi got up, kicking pieces of broken plate away as he did so. He turned back to the sink and turned on the faucet. He pulled more plates from the bin, took the sponge and started wiping them off under the water. "No, I can work. I-I'm fi..."

He couldn't finish the sentence without his voice cracking. Tadashi bit his lip and closed his eyes, bowing his head towards the ground. He couldn't hold up the sponge, let it fall towards the drain.

He felt a hand cover his own, and Tadashi opened his eyes, looked down at Aunt Cass. She gazed back, green into brown, unwavering.

"Tadashi," she said, soft but firm. "Stop. I mean it."

The boy thought of arguing, but his heart wasn't into it. He just sighed and dropped his arms, turning away from the sink and into Cass' arms. She hugged him, tilting her chin up over his shoulder to say, "You're a big boy, Tadashi, but even big boys need to sleep. Go back to bed."

"But if I don't –"

"The world isn't going to end just because you took a break." Aunt Cass interrupted him, drawing back to give him a small smile. "Trust me. I'm an old pro at this... Well, not that old, but you know what I mean."

"Well, if you say so..." Tadashi finally pulled away, but bent to help pick up the broken porcelain pieces, only for Aunt Cass to push him away. It took several more of her encouragements to get him out the cafe kitchen and back up the stairs, and the rest was up to him. Tadashi didn't have much to fight with after that. As soon as he saw his bed (Hiro still sleeping in it), an overwhelming sense of exhaustion came over him, as though Tadashi hadn't gotten any sleep at all the earlier night.

Although it felt so utterly wrong to be going back to bed, and knowing he should be keeping up on recent news, Tadashi realized the wisdom in Aunt Cass' words as he sunk back onto his mattress. Tadashi could only stare up at the ceiling. Nothing was going to change, whether he was there to see it or not.

Hiro was still here. So were Aunt Cass, and all of his friends. Right now, he was grateful for what he had.

He would later understand that he had been in shock, and it had finally hit then. Tadashi didn't know what to think, what to do, what to say. Maybe Aunt Cass understood that, and that was why she sent him back up here.

Hiro, still asleep, seemed to sense the return of Tadashi's presence and curled up right next to him. With his arm now taken hostage by the little demon, Tadashi had no choice but to stay in bed. As much as his head hurt and muscles ached, sleep remained out of reach.

So, instead, Tadashi closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and clearing out all other thoughts from his head. He concentrated on his memories, the day when the auditorium burned down, the day Professor Callaghan died. He knew the information he was looking for was there, he just had to remember it first...

He retraced his steps within his own memory. He remembered shouting at Hiro, trying to get to the burning building. Hiro had been pulling on his arm, for once the wiser of the two – he had known better than to put himself in danger, and had enough of a head on him to keep Tadashi from trying to do the same.

_They had just run down from the parking lot to see the fire. Dozens of people were running in the opposite direction, screaming and shouting and coughing. Tadashi knew his friends were safe - he had seen them earlier hanging out at the ridge overlooking the bay.__  
__  
But all was not well. The final person exiting the burning exhibition hall was a woman, who Tadashi stopped to ask, "Are you all right? Did everyone make it out?"__  
__  
"I'm fine, but Professor Callaghan is still inside!" the woman cried, pointing behind her at the doorways.__  
__  
Tadashi let the woman go, half out of shock, half in a new-found urgency. He faced the building and he parsed through every contingency in a single moment. He couldn't hear any sirens in the distance, the flames were getting too hot, and by the time help arrived, it would be too late. There was no one else, no rescue for Callaghan if they just waited around. Who knew how long the building had left to stand?__  
__  
The only way Callaghan would live is if Tadashi actually _did _something about it - he had to! If it was Hiro or Aunt Cass or - his parents - Tadashi would do the exact same thing for them. He couldn't just let his favorite teacher die when he had the chance of saving him!__  
__  
"No, Tadashi!" Hiro pulled on Tadashi's arm, digging his heels into the dirt as if he could somehow anchor the two of them to the spot."What are you doing? You can't go in there!"__  
__  
But Tadashi took advantage of his height and superior strength to push Hiro away. It still left a sharp stab of pain in his gut at the thought - how could he do that to Hiro? How could he choose Callaghan over his own brother?__  
__  
It wasn't important right now. Tadashi decided to dwell on it later. Right now, he had to focus on getting Callaghan out of that fire alive.__  
__  
"Just stay here!" he ordered his brother, watched the dismay in Hiro's face. It hurt, but Tadashi had already decided on what he was going to do and wasn't going to back down now. "You'll be safe!"__  
__  
Then he turned and ran.__  
__  
"Tadashi!" Hiro called after him, his screams swallowed by the roar of flames. "TADASHI!"__  
_  
In the midst of the bright flames and sting in his eyes, Tadashi couldn't see much. The smoke had made his eyes water and he was so focused on Callaghan at the time that anyone else had been put on the backburner.

_ The heat was so intense that Tadashi had a brief moment where he questioned his sanity. What the hell was he thinking, going in there? But then he saw an opening within the flames, a way in without getting burned. He surged forward, already thinking of finding Callaghan - who was probably only a few feet away, really, how far could he be? _ _  
_  
It'd be an in-and-out job; everyone will be safe before the firefighters even got there.

_ He remembered, ducking inside the doorway and peering into the searing hot interior, a single dark figure amongst the flames. _

_ Seeing them, Tadashi squinted trying to get a better look. Who was that? Tadashi didn't recognize them, not from this far away. Not with all this fire blinding him. He cupped his hands over his mouth. "Hey! Over here!" _

_ The person was maybe thirty feet away. They moved silently, floating out like a ghost, black as midnight. At the sound of Tadashi's voice, they whipped their head around. Where their eyes should have been, were white, shining disks. He couldn't remember if those eyes had any color – just the fact that they were there, sticking out from the dark silhouette like two glowing moons. _

_ If they saw him, they said nothing. _

_ "Hold on! I'm coming for you!" Tadashi called, in case they heard. There had to be a way to reach them. Tadashi shifted to the right, trying to find a way around the burning rubble right in front of him, blocking his way. _

_ And then that black form shifted, elongated, growing taller. At first, Tadashi thought he was seeing things, when this body suddenly went shapeless, seemed to explode into a towering column of smoke and cinders, pupil-less eyes shining with a sudden malice he hadn't noticed before. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him, of old Japanese folk tales, demons that terrorized villages, turned land and sea to ash. _

_ It loomed over him, this shapeless monster of smoke and nightmares, it's visage wavering in the heat of the blaze. One clawed hand pulled itself out of its body and reached towards him. _

_ Terrified, Tadashi stumbled back. His hand flew to his head, a natural gesture Tadashi made when he was trying to think, or shocked. What the hell was this? What was going on? Was this really happening? _

_ He jolted when he touched his own hair, startled to find his hat gone. It must've fallen off when he ran inside. Instinctively, Tadashi looked behind him, at the open doorway. _

_ Tadashi didn't understand until later that it was this particular action that had saved his life. _

_ Unlike the rest of the building, Tadashi could still see out the door, into the dark night beyond. Hiro was still out there. He had picked up Tadashi's hat. Although he couldn't hear Hiro, he could read his lips. Hiro, calling his name. _

_ Hiro, running towards the burning hall. _

_ Hiro, his little brother, coming after him. _

_ No. That was the only thought in Tadashi's head at that moment — Callaghan completely vanished from his thoughts. Hiro couldn't come in here. Why didn't he ever listen? _

_ Had Tadashi not turned around, had he not seen Hiro, Tadashi wouldn't have left the exhibition hall right then, as he did. He wouldn't have been compelled to stop Hiro from killing himself, and in doing so prevented himself from the same fate. _

_ Breaking out into a run, Tadashi called out Hiro's name in return — he wanted to give a more complex order, to tell Hiro to stop. To turn around, but he didn't have the time. He didn't have the breath. It was already so hard to breathe. The smoke was practically suffocating him. _

_ He had just thrown himself out the door again when the exhibition hall exploded. _

_ Although Tadashi hadn't been aware of it at the time, in retrospect he remembered a sudden suction of air, like the building in front of him was taking a deep breath, and for a few seconds the flames seemed to dim. He didn't understand it to being a preamble to the following collapse. _

_ Then — _

_FWOOOM!__  
__  
He was already in the air — Tadashi had taken one last look over his shoulder. He stopped on the first step for only a split second. He remembered to close his eyes when the shock wave slammed into him.__  
__  
He didn't remember hitting the ground. All he could hear was the sound of Hiro yelling at him, "Tadashi! Tadashi!"__  
__  
Why was he still shouting? Don't cry, Hiro, don't cry. It's all right, I'm safe. I'm alive. I'm still here.__  
__  
"Tadashi!"__  
_  
_What? I'm right here! In the dirt, a little bruised maybe, but I'm fine. I never made it to the building, I wasn't inside when it blew up. I'm fine!_

"Tadashi!"the voice became louder and louder, and Tadashi was starting to get annoyed, until he felt the sudden sensation of falling and then Hiro's voice sounded like it was right next to him: "Tadashi...yo, Tadashi, wake up!"

"Ugh, what?" Tadashi blinked his eyes open, surprised to find how difficult it was to lift his head.

Hiro was standing at the edge of his bed, hands on his hips and a funny little smirk on his face. "Well, the nerd finally decided to wake up. Come on, Cass says dinner's ready."

"Dinner?!" Tadashi shot straight out bed, staring at Hiro before whipping towards his alarm clock. Holy crap, it was five thirty! Did he really sleep that long? The dream couldn't have been more than five minutes! "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

"I didn't know what to do!" Hiro cried, waving his arms in the air, to better emphasis his helplessness in this new and unusual situation. "You're the one who has to wake me up, not the other way around. Since when do you sleep in? Don't you usually help Aunt Cass with the cafe in the morning?"

"I – yeah," Tadashi wasn't sure what to say without telling Hiro what had happened earlier that day. "But she let me have the day off. I was...I was really tired."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Hiro scoffed, falling for the bluff. Tadashi supposed his actual sleepiness helped, and prayed that Aunt Cass wouldn't give him away later that night. "Come on, I'm starving. And Aunt Cass made my favorite - hot wings!"

"Wait, your favorite? Why not my favorite?" Tadashi groaned, finally rolling out of bed. He had to admit, after five plus hours of sleep he didn't need, a dream that kind of freaked him out, and still feeling pretty crappy, hot wings was the last thing he needed right now. That much spiciness combined with that much exhaustion?

It was just asking for a complete and utter meltdown.

He also was not looking forward to experiencing the burn of spicy food - a level of heat he had only recently been through when almost running towards his death, and was not keen on reliving the memory (for the third time).

When he finally got downstairs, both Hiro and Aunt Cass were already sitting at the table. His little brother was currently shoveling as many chicken wings into his mouth as he could and covering his face in hot sauce, while Aunt Cass was somewhat more civilized, attacking only one piece of meat at a time.

It was quite difficult to hide his distaste for the meal, but Tadashi sat down anyways. He could _ smell _ the spiciness just wafting off and it made him want to gag.

Aunt Cass, who seemed to notice the look on Tadashi's face, swallowed before saying, "Is everything all right, Tadashi? You look a little pale."

"I'm just..." Tadashi had to force a smile on his face. "...fine. Do you, um," he cleared his throat, trying not to sound too awkward but then realizing it was probably too late. "Do you have anything else to eat? Leftovers? I'm not really feeling the, uh, hot wings vibe tonight."

"Sure, honey." Aunt Cass gave him a warm look, a secret understanding passing between them. Tadashi knew she was still thinking about what had happened that morning and was glad that she wasn't going to bring it up, at least not in front of Hiro. "Check the fridge. We've got meatloaf from the other night, and stir-fry from when your friends came over."

"Stir-fry sounds good," Tadashi got out of the chair and made a beeline for the kitchen. He could hear Hiro sniggering through his food, but didn't confront him about it. Instead, as he pulled the Tupperware from the fridge, Tadashi called over, "You know, I think I'm going to eat this upstairs."

"If you want to. You sure, Tadashi?" Aunt Cass looked over her shoulder, fixing him with a concerned frown. Even Hiro looked confused now. It didn't help that Aunt Cass seemed to be asking more than the necessary amount of questions. Now Hiro might suspect something, which was the last thing Tadashi wanted.

Aunt Cass' eyes seemed to bore into him, as though she could read his mind if she stared at Tadashi long enough. "Are you feeling all right?"

Tadashi hesitated before he answered that.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

And then he went back to his room.

Although the idea of sleep was tempting, Tadashi realized he had enough for the next few hours. Instead, he sat at his desk, turning on his computer and eating cold noodles with chopsticks as he waited for the system to boot up.

The desire to watch the news was almost overwhelming. Even though they had pretty fast Internet here, the browser seemed to take ages to load, videos buffered for eons before they could play smoothly, and even Tadashi's own fingers typing across the keyboard felt more sluggish than usual.

He was not surprised to learn that news of the fire at the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology had gone nationwide. Millions of dollars worth of technology and engineering gone up in a cloud of toxic black smoke - with only one casualty.

Tadashi could only watch the first couple minutes of the video exclusive:

"_I'm here at San Fransokyo's Institute of Technology, at the location of its former exhibition hall where student showcases had taken place last night_." The reporter said, a woman with a blond ponytail and fancy trench coat. The broadcast seemed to have been taken earlier that day, showing an overcast sky with firefighters and detectives working in the background, amongst the charred, wet ruins of the building. "_As you can see, Bill, the results of the fire were devastating. Almost every project was destroyed, countless hours of student work now piles of ash. The inferno last night could be seen from almost a mile away - it's amazing to consider how low the casualty rate was. Unfortunately, the police have yet to release any information about the situation, only that they have yet to learn where and how the fire started._"

"_Police have confirmed the identity of the man who died in the fire as Robert Callaghan, a professor here at SFIT. He was the only person inside when the exhibition hall collapsed. _ " The woman said, and Tadashi began to tremble in his seat. " _ The school board has yet to release a statement on the matter, but they assure us that they will have something for us by Monday. There will be a vigil in Professor Callaghan's honor tonight, and a memorial service later next week._"

Tadashi hit the exit button so hard he almost broke his finger.

For the next five minutes, he just stared at his screen, unable to compute what he just heard. _ It's real. It really happened, didn't it? Callaghan's dead. I'm never going to see him again. I'll never talk to him again. I won't get advice from him again. I'll never find him in his office when I need his help. The school's going to shut down the robotics program, because the only man good enough to lead it is dead now. I'll never finish Baymax. Callaghan will never get to see him when he's completely built. _

_ I'll never get to show him how great Hiro can be. _

_ I never got to say good-bye. _

_ I should've said good-bye. Why didn't I say good-bye? How would they know that I missed them? That I loved them? They must have been angry at me, their ungrateful son. It was just a stupid game - why did I have to make it such a big deal? I didn't even like that game, I just wanted to play it. I would've thrown it away, destroyed it, just to get a chance to say good-bye to Mom and Dad – _

Tadashi didn't realize he was crying until his computer went to sleep, the screen going dark, and he finally saw his own reflections staring back at him.

Frustrated with himself, Tadashi wiped at his eyes and scrambled his mouse to brighten the screen, refusing to look at himself any longer. Instead, he turned towards his search engine, looked up the date and time for the vigil, before grabbing his coat and hat and thumping down the stairs.

He practically leapt over the second-floor landing before going down the last flight of stairs. There came the scraping of chairs against wood floors as Aunt Cass and Hiro got up from their seats, startled by Tadashi's behavior. He was already half-way across the cafe floor when Aunt Cass came racing down, Hiro right behind her. "Tadashi, where are you going?"

"I'm..." Tadashi chose his words carefully. "I'm just going out for a ride."

"I'll come with you!" Hiro piped up, pulling around Aunt Cass with an expectant smile as Tadashi opened the door.

He held up a hand, and Hiro stopped in his tracks. It twisted Tadashi's gut to see the Hiro's face fall, but in his heart it felt like the right thing to do. "No, Hiro. I'm sorry, I just...I want to be alone for a while."

Unable to witness their reactions, Tadashi looked down as he headed out the door. He was already settling onto his moped when the door opened again, jingling from the overhead bell.

Tadashi looked up. It was Hiro, his head just barely peeking past the open door. His eyes were wide and he was biting his lip, like he used to do in high school. He looked so much like the quiet little kid he used to be, afraid to speak up in class because the other kids would pick on him, trying to make himself look smaller so no one would push him around in the halls.

High school had not been kind to Hiro. Tadashi supposed it was a good thing his little brother graduated so quickly. Two years of high school was better than four, even if you were younger and smaller than everyone else.

It seemed as though he had been brought back to the past, talking to the Hiro before he graduated. In quiet words, almost a whisper, Hiro asked, "When are you coming back?"

"Before ten, maybe," Tadashi said, trying to keep his tone soft and reassuring, even though he wasn't entirely sure his answer was going to be accurate. Still, he didn't want Hiro to feelabandoned, even though that's kind of what he was doing at the moment. "I'll be home by midnight at the latest."

"You promise?"

Tadashi started his engine before offering Hiro a small smile, the only one he could manage. "I promise."

**(** **●-●)**

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**More fanart ;3**

**delete spaces and brackets when copy-pasting**

**the-solar-surfer. deviantart. c[om]/art/To-Live-is-to-Suffer-504466804**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, this chapter was supposed to have more scenes, but this one turned out to be longer than I thought so I'm dividing them. The next one should be happier. Maybe. (probably not.) Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Three**

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The wind was cool on his face as Tadashi zipped through the streets, his moped powering up the hills and speeding down the slopes.

He knew his way to SFIT like the back of his hand - he could probably make it there blind-folded, so long as he wasn't in any danger of traffic.

There was no reason to go fast – Tadashi took his time, admiring the city as he drove along. He never realized how bright the lights were, the vivid colors of all those signs, the beautiful curvature of the roofs and architecture of the houses around him. People lived here, people who had lives entirely separate from his own, who knew about the fire, about the death and destruction, but were no more affected by it than someone else on the other side of the country.

Tadashi wondered what it was like to be so removed from the situation like that. Didn't those people know what they had missed, never knowing Robert Callaghan? Never fully understanding what this man did to change the world?

But there was something to be envious about. Those people, those strangers didn't have to feel the pain of losing a friend. All they saw was a name, a face, and a legacy. That was all Robert Callaghan had become to them; someone to mourn in on moment, forgotten in the next.

The thoughts of living another life like that had distracted him, to the point that he almost ran into a fire hydrant – avoiding it at the last second when the headlights of a car heading in the opposite direction blinded him and shook Tadashi straight out of his reverie. The tires squealed beneath him and Tadashi almost lost control and for a split second considered bailing the vehicle, until it righted itself and he was back on all wheels.

A little shaken, Tadashi eased up on the accelerator. He shook himself over, telling himself to focus on the road and not get distracted by irrelevant thoughts. He did not survive a fire to kill himself on the road to a dead man's vigil.

His mother would chastise him for not being careful; what example was he setting for Hiro, who (at the time) did everything his cool big brother did? Tadashi considered himself the more responsible between himself and Hiro, yet it was startling to consider how often he got into trouble. What would his family think of him?

Oh, man. What was he going to say to Hiro when he got back?

Tadashi knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Hiro would be waiting for him. The genius was probably making a list of all of the questions he wanted to ask right now. Aunt Cass didn't like it when Hiro stayed up late, but the older Hamada's knew better than to think he would listen, especially in a situation like this.

He was worried of letting Hiro see him like this. Tadashi wasn't quite sure how to explain it himself, and he hoped that Hiro wouldn't think that something was wrong - or worse, consider himself the problem. Tadashi did not spend his high school years protecting Hiro from bullies just to let his little brother beat himself up without their help.

No, when Tadashi got home later that night, he would make sure to remind Hiro that having a little brother was one of the best things that had ever happened to him, that he was proud of Hiro, and that he didn't spend three weeks helping his little brother build his micro bots just to let him think he was worthless.

Right now, Tadashi had to sort out his psyche.

Unfortunately, he had no idea how long that would take.

Eventually, he pulled into SFIT's campus. After finding a place to park, Tadashi headed to the vigil - it wasn't hard to find, all he had to do was follow the glow of lights up the hill. It overlooked the now-fallen Exhibition hall. Roughly two hundred or so people had gathered, most holding candles. There didn't seem to be too much organization to the place - most were speaking to each other in low whispers, a few were weeping, and there were the rare few actually laughing and seeming to have a good time.

If anyone was annoyed by Tadashi's lateness, they didn't say anything. A woman standing beside a crate full of candles handed him one with a kind smile – he held it as she lit it with a match, and the flame flickered to life between his fingers. He thanked the woman before moving on.

He continued forward, trying to be as polite as possible as he made his way to the front of the crowd. It was oddly quiet, except for one lone voice, a man making a speech. "...all of you here tonight...terrible tragedy...pay our respects to one of the greatest pioneers in his field..."

What he saw made his jaw drop.

The blond hair and long nose were instantly recognizable. Dressed in an immaculate black suit (with a boutonnière and champagne glass no less), Alistair Krei spoke with a slick charm that didn't fit with the words he was saying: "Robert Callaghan was an old colleague of mine, and one that will be dearly missed. I have never met a man more passionate than Robert himself; and not just for the science he loved, but in every aspect of his life.

There was the bitter taste of bile on Tadashi's tongue. Seeing Krei talk about Callaghan like they were old friends made him sick. It was bad enough the man had to prey on Hiro's naïveté, but now he take advantage of a tragedy to make himself look better? Callaghan had been right about Krei - all the businessman cared about was his reputation and his company's stock values.

Unbelievable.

Just hearing Krei's voice made Tadashi want to leave, but a strange curiosity had him firmly planted to the spot. Alistair continued, in the same doleful tones: "He never took anything for granted - Robert questioned everything, and on more than a few occasions we would clash over philosophical differences...but in the end, Robert always had the best at heart, he only wanted to help people to the best of his ability. It was one of the many qualities I admired in that man."

Tadashi felt something inside him wilt. As much as he disliked Alistair Krei, the man had managed to make the boy feel guilty. Callaghan had been Tadashi's role model since he was ten and first read about him in a _Popular Science _magazine that detailed his revolutionary laws of robotics. It had been a dream come true when the man became Tadashi's mentor - all he ever wanted was to be just like Robert Callaghan, to be just half as great a man as he.

And Tadashi couldn't help but think how terribly he failed.

"So I stand here today to say, personally, that I think that this was how Callaghan would've wanted it," Alistair Krei said, and Tadashi felt a moment of resentment - who was _he_ to say what Callaghan would have liked? - before the man went on to say, "Surrounded by his friends and students, in the place where science can be explored in all directions, where the brilliant people from all around the globe gather here, and change the world every day. Robert Callaghan would be proud of us, of what we've done, and what we will do."

There was light clapping as the man finished with a small bow. Tadashi had to admit, it was a pretty good speech, the man certainly had skill in public speaking. It probably came with the territory, what with constantly being on the news all the time, and running a billion-dollar corporation and all.

Still, Tadashi didn't like the way Alistair said the inclusive 'we' like he thought he was a part of them – when the young man knew for a fact that Krei had never attended this school, and was only considered an honorary member thanks to all his donations and hiring engineers and designers from SFIT – which in turn gave the school great publicity.

In the end, Tadashi's opinion of the man remained more or less the same. Alistair Krei was a smooth-talking, opportunistic businessman. Maybe Krei spoke candidly here, but that didn't stop the notion that he was a casually dishonest man.

Murmurings filled the air as the crowd waited for another speaker. Tadashi looked down at the candle in his hands. It seemed so sweet and innocent, when only last night Tadashi had been standing in front of a raging inferno. There seemed to be an irony to holding a candlelight vigil for a man who died in a fire, but Tadashi was not dumb enough to bring it up.

Maybe he should say something. Callaghan had been his mentor, after all, and that had to mean _something_, right?

But he didn't know what to say. When he tried to search for word, nothing came to mind, at least nothing that Krei hadn't already said.

What did that mean? What kind of student was Tadashi if he couldn't say anything new, anything meaningful about the man who helped him become the person he was today?

Eventually, someone took the spotlight with their guitar and started singing 'Auld Lang Syne'. For the first few bars, the woman sung alone, before a few other voices joined in. Then it spread, as more people heard and went along with the tune, until almost half the crowd had joined in.

While Tadashi didn't know all the words, he managed to hum along. He even smiled a bit, surrounded by all these people, singing the same song. There was a sort of sweet perfection to it, everyone pausing to share this moment together, holding their candles under the dark sky.

Singing became a popular pastime after that. There seemed to be no shortage of sad, nostalgic songs to be sung, and Tadashi spent most of the time thinking to himself, not really talking to anyone. He drifted towards the edge of the hill; it wasn't particularly large, but gave partial view to the burned exhibition hall below. Tadashi could see that parts of it were still standing - a piece of wall here, a column there - but the rest was shrouded in darkness.

He stared at it for who knew how long, only to be interrupted when someone eventually drew up to him and said, "Hm, didn't expect to see you here."

Tadashi had to keep himself from cringing at the sound of Krei's voice. He had hoped that the man wouldn't pick him out in a crowd, but he supposed separating himself from them did not help the matter. Still, he mustered a bit of steel as he turned around and faced the man who almost stole Hiro's invention.

Alistair Krei still had his champagne glass in his hand. He gave Tadashi an enigmatic smile, "I didn't expect you to come alone. Don't you have a little brother, oh, what's his name, it's on the tip of my tongue...Harry? Hoover?"

"_Hiro_," Tadashi snapped, not willing to be patient with this man, who surely couldn't have forgotten Hiro's name so soon (especially considering how much of an interest he took in the boy's invention). He had the distinct feeling that this man did not come here for a little chit-chat. "His name is Hiro. You tried to take one of his micro-bots, remember?"

"Oh, yes, that was just an honest mistake, I assure you," the man replied without so much as a twitch. It was frustrating to see a man unperturbed by Tadashi's anger. "But you have to admit, your little brother is quite the genius, and I merely wanted to help him reach his full potential. Where's the harm in that?"

"Everything," Tadashi muttered to himself, turning back towards the vista and leaning against the railing. He just wished Krei would leave him alone.

If the man could read social cues, he was really bad at it, or else didn't care. Alistair Krei continued on as if he hadn't heard Tadashi speak. "You're that Hamada boy, right? Callaghan always spoke so highly of you, your skill in robotics. I'm surprised you didn't have a presentation during the exhibition; if you're anywhere near as talented as your brother, I'm sure you would've given those judges something to think about."

Tadashi made a face, trying to find the veiled insult in Krei's words. "My project isn't done yet. Even if it were, I wouldn't show it at the exhibition – that was Hiro's day to shine."

"And shine he did," Krei said in a tone Tadashi didn't like. He seemed almost amused by the situation, in a manner that felt entirely inappropriate considering the current event taking place. Why were they talking about Hiro when this was about Callaghan? "Will he still attend SFIT in the fall, after all this? I heard the school board might run into problems after this...this tragedy. The applied science department won't be the same."

"No, it won't," Tadashi said with a huff, blowing out his candle and getting up off the rail. He turned towards Krei, finally facing him head on. He looked the businessman in the eye, and for the first time saw a flicker of apprehension in the man's eye. "It's going to be _better_, because that's what Callaghan would've wanted. Maybe you could think about that."

And, in a move that was positively daring, Tadashi shoved the candle into Krei's hand –with perhaps more force than necessary – and added, "You know, try something new, instead."

The look on Alistair Krei's face was priceless, and Tadashi walked away with that image permanently imbedded into his mind. It felt good to finally one-up the man, but now Tadashi was angry, which was not what he expected to achieve when coming to a quiet little vigil. This was not how it was supposed to happen.

He was supposed to reminisce. He was supposed to get closure. He was supposed to feel better, or at least okay enough that he wouldn't need to pretend in front of Hiro.

But Tadashi didn't get any of that. In fact, he wondered if coming here just made it all worse.

(How was he ever going to make it through the funeral? It daunted him, and Tadashi could barely comprehend the thought – so he pushed it from his mind to be dealt with at a later time, when he was in a better condition to handle it).

Now he felt like he couldn't stay. Not with Krei around, at least – Tadashi was suddenly afraid that the man might have a vengeful side, and get back at Tadashi. So he decided to leave, even though the vigil was still going on strong.

Getting on his moped, Tadashi found justification when he finally checked his watched. About a quarter after midnight – Tadashi had no idea how the time got away from him like that, but now he was going to be late getting home.

He groaned inwardly as he kicked the scooter into gear. Ugh, Hiro was going to kill him.

That is, if there was anything left once Aunt Cass was done.

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**Fanart! by me :P**

**the-solar-surfer .t [umblr[. c [om[/post/109168345335/i-wish-i-couldve-saved-you-companion-piece-to**


	4. Chapter 4

**This was the scene that was supposed to be at the end of Chapter Three, but I felt that they were independent of each other enough to serve their own chapters. Its also why I consider the next chapter (the funeral) to be separate from this one. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to leave this by itself, since it seems so short and little happens, but because of what happens before and after, it probably should. Just another one of those tough editorial decisions, folks.**

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**Chapter Four**

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When Tadashi returned to the Lucky Cat Café, the windows were completely dark. All of them, except for the one at the very top, on the third floor. He could see it flicker and shift with movement from inside.

Tadashi sighed, hanging his head as he pulled off his helmet. So Hiro had decided to stay awake after all. Well, there was no way Tadashi was avoiding this one.

Time to face the music.

His reluctance to deal with Hiro came in the form of sluggish and quiet movements. Tadashi winced when the bell above the door announced his return. He expected Hiro to come bounding down the stairs to confront him, alerted by the sound, but Tadashi was surprised when that never happened.

Still making a point to be careful, Tadashi grabbed the bell overhead so the door could shut silently. Then he crept across the floor, managing to remain quiet until about half-way through, when his hip bumped against a table he didn't see. Its legs ground against the floor, sounding like a buzz saw in an empty theater. Another step forward, and Tadashi nearly tripped on the nearby chair. He grabbed the back before it could fall, cursing at his own clumsiness.

He was going to wake up the whole neighborhood if he kept this up. Tadashi eventually just stopped moving for a second, not willing to make any more noise.

When nothing happened (apparently everyone slept like rocks around here), Tadashi heaved a sigh and started walking again. He made it to the stairs without incident. Leaning more than he should have on the handrail, Tadashi climbed up the stairs, finding his way in the darkness. He considering turning on the lights so he could at least see where he was going, but decided against it. Aunt Cass had already gone to bed, and Tadashi didn't want to wake her up.

Tadashi took a deep breath to steel himself before climbing to the final floor. The lamplight from their bedroom spilled down the stairs, a warm yellow light that welcomed his return.

He expected to see Hiro on his bed, ready to explode with thousands of questions as soon as Tadashi revealed himself. But when Tadashi came upon the landing and looked around he was once more surprised not to see Hiro's mass of fluffy hair where he thought he would. The room was entirely silent and at first Tadashi didn't see Hiro at all.

That's because Hiro was sleeping, but not in his bed. The boy was resting his head on his desk, arms for pillows, and snoring softly under the lamp he forgot to turn off. Beside him on the desk was Mochi, who was currently in the process of cleaning himself, finding a spot under the lamp that was most comfortable, casting large shadows across the walls.

Well, that explained why Tadashi thought he saw movement upstairs.

"He wanted to stay up until you got back," came a soft voice behind Tadashi. A hand rested on his shoulder, and he turned around to see Aunt Cass standing next to him. She was in her pajamas, clutching her robe around her, and giving Tadashi a small smile, "How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think," Tadashi said, rubbing the back of his head. He had to admit, he was still feeling pretty satisfied with how he handled Alistair Krei earlier. Somehow, it eased the pain of Callaghan's loss, just a little bit. He didn't know how long that feeling would last, though. It was hard to say when he would feel better as a whole – if he did at all.

Such negative thoughts he kept to himself. Aunt Cass took his word for it and said, "That's good, but don't be afraid to talk to me, okay? There's nothing wrong with discussing, you know...what happened."

"I know," Tadashi said, but he was glad of Aunt Cass' reassurance. Whether or not he would take her up on that offer was left to be seen. "Thanks, Aunt Cass."

"Just don't go to bed too late, all right, kiddo?" she told him, a hint of reproach in her tone. After last semester's finals, Aunt Cass was much more careful with how late she let them stay up – because if Tadashi was awake until four in the morning, then so was Hiro, and two tired, brain-exhausted boys was worse than one. "And don't worry about the cafe tomorrow. Just sleep in."

"But –" Tadashi started to protest, unwilling to shirk another day of work over a simple (or not so simple...) matter of emotions.

"Doctor's orders," Aunt Cass interrupted him, shaking her head with a small chuckle. She pushed him towards his bed, adding, "No one's ever complained about getting too much sleep. I promise it won't hurt."

Tadashi sighed, relenting to his aunt's will and shuffling over to his bed. "If you say so."

"Good night, Tadashi," Aunt Cass said, hand lingering on his shoulder, and giving him one last, long look before heading back downstairs.

"'Night," he replied half-heartedly.

A few seconds later he heard the door to Aunt Cass' bedroom close. Tadashi glanced over his shoulder, watching Hiro as he snored away. Mochi meowed at him and he wandered over, petting the cat before he could wake up the boy. Mochi could be very demanding when he wanted to be.

How long had Hiro sat there, wondering when Tadashi would home? Had this happened a week ago, Hiro would've taken the opportunity to go bot-fighting. What had been going on in Hiro's head? Did he feel abandoned, did he feel left behind? Was he upset that Tadashi had once more chosen Callaghan over him again, even if he didn't mean to? Because it was sure starting to feel that way.

He ran his hand across Hiro's head, ruffling his hair like their father used to when Hiro was little. Hiro had been excitable when he was younger, perhaps more so then than now. A favorite game of his was to run around your legs with the intent to slow you down and pay attention to him. Hiro was quite the little genius back then, too, because that tactic turned out to be extremely effective.

Dad had been surprisingly good-natured about it. Instead of getting angry or impatient with Hiro (like Tadashi did), Dad just laughed, ruffled Hiro's hair, before picking him up and placing him in his crib.

Tadashi wished he had the same eternal patience as his father, who always seemed to know what to do with Hiro when he got into trouble. Or the way their mother could soothe a crying Hiro with just a warm hug and some consoling words. Somehow, his parents always seemed to understand Hiro better than his brother could. How did they do it?

(Then again, they might never have anticipated the whole bot-fighting fiasco. How would they have reacted to learning that their baby boy was partaking in illegal activities?)

Tadashi decided he would never know. The only thing he could do would be to try his best. Hiro was capable of great things; as long as Tadashi got to see that one day, then it would be worth it.

The bay window was cracked open and a cold breeze blew in; the papers on Hiro's desk rustled, the posters on the wall fluttering slightly. Mochi curled up under the warm lamp light while Hiro shivered in his sleep, shifting in his chair and burrowing his face in his arms.

Tadashi considering moving Hiro to his bed, where it would be warmer and softer, but his brother seemed comfortable where he rested; Tadashi didn't want to risk waking him up from a perfectly fine sleep and instead ignite the surely subsequent interrogation that he was still trying to avoid.

Then, Tadashi got an idea. He shrugged off his green blazer and, with careful movements so as not to disturb him, rested it over Hiro's shoulders. The blazer, still warm, stirred Hiro, but he remained asleep.

Tadashi smiled to himself, considering his work done, and turned off the lamp light (much to Mochi's displeasure). He ran a hand through his little brother's hair one last time.

"Good night, Hiro," he whispered.

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**Fanart time!**

**the-solar-surfer .d eviantart. [c[om[/art/Good-Night-Little-Brother-528178052**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

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The last time Tadashi wore a suit, it was for Hiro's high school graduation.

Aunt Cass had told him that the event wasn't formal, and he didn't have to get so dressed up. But Tadashi wanted to, because he felt the occasion required it. Graduating was important to Hiro, to finally leave the school that both brought him here but also weighed him down...to get through was an accomplishment, especially at his age, and dressing appropriately seemed like one of the best ways to show it.

(Of course, Tadashi then took the opportunity to guilt Hiro over it, by taking dozens of pictures and teasing his little brother for not taking the event as seriously as himself. Hiro wanted to take off his robes as soon as the whole ceremony was over, but thanks to Tadashi's efforts Hiro ended up wearing them for most of the day. They eventually agreed that Hiro could take them off, so long as Tadashi got to wear the funny hat).

Now the memory felt tainted, wearing the suit for this dreary day.

Hiro had to wear a suit, too, one of Tadashi's hand-me-downs that no longer fit. Forgoing the jacket because it was still a little too large in the shoulders, Hiro just wore the shirt and pants, and was currently struggling with the tie. He never had to tie one before and Aunt Cass disapproved of him using the clip-on (which was a bright red color).

Tadashi had just finished brushing his teeth when he turned around and watched Hiro standing in front of the floor mirror, trying for the tenth time to loop the tie, and failing once again. The boy grumbled, "Ugh, these things are _impossible!_ Do I have to wear it?"

"Yeah, bonehead, you do," Tadashi said with a beleaguered smile. He emerged from the bathroom, extending a hand out in offer, "Here, let me help."

"No way!" Hiro ducked out from under Tadashi's hand, his own hands tangled with the tie. He struggled to free them, looking like a dancing chicken as his elbows flapped helplessly. "I'm not a baby anymore, Tadashi. I can do it myself."

"You know, for a genius, you have a lot of trouble mastering basic life skills."

"Shut up."

"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" Tadashi winced when Hiro finally managed to free one hand, only to accidentally punch himself in the chin. "You don't complain when Aunt Cass does it."

"Ow," Hiro rubbed his sore jaw before shooting Tadashi a sour look. "No, because Aunt Cass doesn't try to strangle me with it."

"Hey, that was an accident, I swear!" Tadashi held up his hands in innocence, but he couldn't but help to chuckle. The near-strangling incident was the reason Hiro got a clip-on tie in the first place. "What? Come on, it was only one time. I promise I won't do it again."

"No, its fine," Hiro managed to get his other hand out and, incredibly, the tie didn't fall apart at a single tug. "See? I got it. I didn't need your help after all."

Before Tadashi could mention that Hiro had gotten the knot completely wrong, they heard Aunt Cass call from downstairs: "Boys, are you ready? We're going to be late if we don't leave now!"

"But I haven't even had lunch yet!" Hiro complained.

"You can eat on the way, Hiro," Cass said, a knowing tone in her voice. "I made each of you a sandwich. If you want anything else, you better hurry up and get it now, because I'm not making any pit-stops."

"Aw, man, I gotta get my gummy bears!" Hiro said, mostly to himself, as he grabbed his coat and tumbled down the stairs into the kitchen.

Following him, Tadashi said, "Seriously, bro? I think you can go one day without candy, don't you think?"

"Gummy bears aren't candy, dude!" Hiro called back as he sifted through the cabinets to find the candy jar. Every day Aunt Cass hid it in a different place, usually somewhere high so Hiro couldn't reach it. He was currently standing on his tiptoes, halfway to climbing on top of the counter to reach the gummy bears hiding behind the spice jars. "They are an essential food group! And I'm a growing boy, you know, I gotta have all my nutrients."

"But you only eat the red ones."

"They're the ones that taste the best," Hiro replied, finally pulling the jar down with the tips of his fingers. Tadashi assumed Hiro would only grab a handful, but he was surprised when his little brother decided to take the whole thing with him. He plucked the jar from Hiro's arms as the boy passed, saying, "And where do you think you're going with that? There's no way Aunt Cass is letting you take it into the car."

"Aw, come on!" Hiro whirled around when he looked down and saw that he no longer had the jar in his grasp. He tried reaching for it, but Tadashi held it over his head, while Hiro tried climbing up his body to reach it. "Not fair! I _need_ those, Tadashi! Or I'm going to _die_."

Tadashi made a face, not appreciating the exaggeration. Hiro had his legs wrapped around his waist and was trying to get up onto his shoulders to reach the jar, so he leaned to the right a little, making Hiro almost lose his balance. "Nice try. Just bring a bowl instead. A _small_ one!" He rectified as Hiro scrambled to grab the big popcorn bowl from the drying rack. Hiro threw him a dirty look before reaching a smaller Tuperware container. "Yeah, that's what I meant. Here, I'll even let you pick out all the red ones."

"Awesome!" that got Hiro to smile. Although they were already pushing it, Tadashi hoped they wouldn't get in trouble for wasting a couple extra minutes on this. The day wasn't going to get any easier from this point, so he might as well have a good time while he still could.

"Boys!" Aunt Cass came back up the stairs one last time, right as Tadashi was putting away the candy jar and Hiro stuffed the container behind his back so she wouldn't see. But Aunt Cass was not one to be fooled. Raising an eyebrow, she planted her hands on her hips and cast a suspicious look over her nephews. "What were you two doing?"

"Nothing," both boys said at the same time. Tadashi slammed the cabinet door shut so she wouldn't see the jar.

"Uh-_huh_," Aunt Cass pursed her lips, but it was easy to tell she was playing up her suspicion in good humor. She just rolled her eyes and waved them down, "Come on, let's get in the truck, we're already late as it is. And, Hiro! I better not find any gummy bears on the floor when I get back!"

"Busted." Hiro flushed, laughing awkwardly as a smile of chagrin pulled on his face. At least Aunt Cass didn't tell him to put it back.

He looked up as Tadashi passed, patting him on the back. "Better luck next time, Hiro."

The ride to SFIT was noticeably quiet. Aside from the hum of the engine, the traffic noises, and the sound of rain beating down on the hood of the truck, the Hamada's sat in utter silence. It felt truly strange, especially after such a jovial morning, but Tadashi didn't know how to change the situation without surreptitiously calling out on the awkwardness, making it worse, and reminding everyone why they were acting like this in the first place. The longer he waited, the worse it got, until Tadashi finally decided it wasn't worth it and accepted the (rather uncomfortable) tranquility.

The gathering for Callaghan's memorial was even smaller than that held for the vigil. They were a little late arriving, as the eulogies had already started, but the rain had eased up a bit, and that Hamadas managed to settle in without any disruption.

The memorial took place on the front steps of SFIT's welcoming gate. It was the same place where the graduation ceremony took place. Not everyone wore black but most did, and as if to mimic the sky, everyone was serious and quiet, full of low murmurings with pent up energy just shimmering on the edge, ready to burst free at just the right touch. Aunt Cass muttered something about forgetting the umbrellas, but no one else made a comment. If it were to rain, they would endure it without complaint.

A few were crying, but it didn't carry very far, and by far the loudest thing here in this quiet park was the speaker's voice, a woman Tadashi couldn't immediately name but seemed familiar. A member of the school, at least.

She said, "...Robert was a dear friend of mine. He's changed my world, and so many others. Without him, San Fransokyo wouldn't even _have_ a robotics division. He came to me with that idea, over twenty years ago, to expand this Institute's interest into other fields. I have to admit, with some regret, that at the time I thought he was crazy. We didn't have the funds to start such a thing. We wouldn't find enough students to even fill the classes. Where would the space come from? We couldn't just _build_ more without some outside help. And, of course, Robert, with all his passion and determination, supplied his _own_ money to help with this idea of his. I guess he really took our motto to heart, and that's why I'm so sad that he has left us. Robert Callaghan truly embodied the anima of this school – our desire to teach, our purpose to nurture and grow the fields of science and the people behind them. He was our heart. He reminded me what it meant to be a leader, to be responsible for San Fransokyo's Institute of Technology, and all those who lie within."

It was about fifteen minutes in did Tadashi remember that Callaghan had no family left to mourn him. It explained why there were so few people here. The man's wife had died over ten years ago, and his daughter disappearing mysteriously some time before Tadashi entered SFIT.

It was a startling thought – Tadashi had never before considered how lonely Callaghan must have been all these years; how well the man hid his sadness. Because surely the man had to be sad –Tadashi had known Callaghan to be a somber, humble man, soft-spoken yet with good humor, key traits that always had Tadashi none the wiser. He had been like that since the day he met Callaghan.

_For thirty minutes, an eighteen-year-old Tadashi sat outside Robert Callaghan's office. He had arrived far too early, but Tadashi was too nervous to leave or find something to do, in case he got distracted and missed something important. The hallway was entirely empty aside from the secretary at her desk, typing at her computer and entirely ignoring the nervous boy sitting nearby._

_Today was probably the most important day in his entire life (so far) – this was the day where Tadashi got to meet his advisor, his teacher, the man who would go through his portfolio and decide where the boy would be headed for the rest of his life. He would look at Tadashi's ideas, his projects and plans, and decide for himself if they were any good or not. If _Tadashi _was any good or not_.

_Tadashi had tried to dress reasonably professional for the occasion, although Aunt Cass told him it wasn't a job interview –_ _he had already been accepted into the school, hadn't he? But to Tadashi, it wasn't set in stone. What if Callaghan decided that Tadashi wasn't fit for robotics? What if he thinks Tadashi is better off going in a different direction, a wrong one, like mathematics or forestry? _

_Ugh, forestry. Tadashi didn't know anything about forestry. What was he going to do if he ended up there?_

_Determined to make a good impression, Tadashi had bought a blazer; green with sharp lapels. It looked good on him, although the shoulders were slightly too big. Oh, well. He'd grow into it eventually. _

_Feet tap dancing nervously on the floor, Tadashi near shot out of his chair when he heard, "Mr. Hamada, you can come in now."_

_"O-oh, okay!" Readjusting his glasses (technically they were just for reading, but Tadashi thought they made him look smarter), Tadashi jumped out of his seat and towards the door._

_In his haste, his toe caught against the leg of the chair and sent it toppling. At the clatter (oh crap), the boy hesitated (I'm such a klutz), turned around to fix it (idiot, you're an idiot, stop being such an idiot), changed his mind (it's okay, I have to go, I can fix it later), and went back to the door, before remembering he forgot his portfolio and scrambled back to get it, tumbling over the fallen chair in his manic attempt to do so. _

_The secretary watched, with a single raised eyebrow, as the boy stood back up, pushed his glasses up his nose and laughing awkwardly, nonchalantly kicked the chair out of her line of sight before going back to the door. He struggled with the handle for a second, wondering if it was locked, before figuring out that he had to _push_ instead of _pull.

_Finally (finally!) he managed to get through the door, harried and breathless, wondering if he was going to be judged on his professionalism. The office was nice, clean, neat; soft carpet floor with dark hardwood furniture and black leather seats, although he didn't see the man himself because he was too busy looking at his notes and making sure they were all there. This was _not_ one of his best moments, but he was just glad Robert Callaghan didn't have to see it. "Sorry, sorry! I just, uh – never mind –_ _I'm h-here, I'm n-not late, am I?"_

_His words came out in a messy jumble and Tadashi couldn't get himself to calm down before he started blushing out of embarrassment. Tadashi thought it couldn't get any worse, at least until he closed the door behind him, took one step forward, and fell flat on his face._

_The portfolio exploded beneath his chest, sending papers flying into the air. As they settled, Tadashi sort of just laid there – he wanted nothing more than to just sink into the floor right now, because he didn't want to face the reaction to his own clumsy behavior. He wasn't usually like this, but would that matter at a time like this? Would he be laughed at? Turned away? What was he going to tell Aunt Cass when he was rejected?_

_That was just the fear talking, but to Tadashi it was pretty convincing, and right now it was a lot louder than his rational mind, which seemed to have ditched him at this crucial moment in his life._

_"Easy there, champ," came a chuckle, and Tadashi felt hands on his arms, helping him to his feet. "How many cups of coffee did you have today?"_

_Tadashi looked up, stunned to see his hero, Robert Callaghan, in the flesh. The man was slightly older than he expected, and wearing just some regular pants and a sweater vest (the greatest inventor in the world wore a sweater vest? Unbelievable!). But it was him. It was really him! _

_It took the boy a second to recover. "Um...seven?"_

_Aunt Cass usually didn't let the boys eat food from the cafe, since it was meant for customers, but she allowed an exception that day and Tadashi took full advantage of it. Of course, the likelihood of it happening against was very small; Aunt Cass seemed to regret her decision after expressing concern when Tadashi had his third espresso shot. _

_"Well, I take it you never do anything half-way, then," Callaghan smiled, patting Tadashi on the back and handing the boy his glasses, which had fallen off. As Tadashi fit them back on his face, the man bent down to pick up the portfolio papers. _

_Horrified, Tadashi got back to his knees and started snatching up papers left and right, saying, "No, sir, let me! It's my fault, you shouldn't have to –"_

_"It's all right, son, I'm not above helping others," the man said, shaking his head at Tadashi's earnesty. He glanced at the contents of each paper before he passed them to Tadashi, but paused at one particular page. Tadashi held out his hand, expecting it to only last a second, but Callaghan didn't seem to notice him. "Did you make this?"_

_He handed the paper to Tadashi, a blue schematics sheet covered in white colored pencil. Tadashi glanced at the design that had somehow piqued Robert Callaghan's interest. It was one of his older ideas, one that he wasn't particularly enthusiastic about since he never got it past the preliminary stage. "Oh, that old thing? I don't know, I just had this thought of a-a nursebot, I guess, but I don't like that design, and I can't figure out how to make it better...anyways, it's not really something I thought you'd be interested in."_

_"I think that's for me to decide," Callaghan gave Tadashi a skeptical look and the boy flushed and ducked his head, clutching the messy pile of papers to his chest as if he could protect himself from the judging look. But the man surprised him when he continued, "Because I think you're onto something here. I've never heard of a nursebot before – what did you intend for it to do?"_

_"Uh, well," they stood up again, and Tadashi paused to collect his thoughts, then remembered he had his notes right in front of him and glanced down. He was still reeling from Callaghan's praise – light as it was, but still, Callaghan thought _he had a good idea, how cool was that? _But why this one? He didn't even know how to start building it yet. "I guess the core concept was that it was, um, a personal healthcare companion. Like, it would work for both hospitals and homes, it would be equipped with, um, the knowledge of hundreds of medical procedures, some of which it'll be capable of, er, performing, and it'll also have an intelligent AI system to interact with patients one-on-one...but, um, I just don't know how to make it. I didn't know if it should hover, or, uh, roll, how big it should be..."_

_"Well, maybe I can help," Callaghan said and Tadashi thought he might die. "After all, that's why you applied to San Fransokyo's Institute of Technology, right? This is where your ideas become reality."_

_"Oh, I know," Tadashi nodded as the man guided him to the chair in front of his desk. It made a soft, squishy sound as he sat down, and Tadashi almost forgot what he was about to say because the chair was so comfortable. "I've wanted to go here since I was ten, sir – I read your Pop-Sci article on the Laws of Robotics and I knew, _I knew _I had to go to this nerd school."_

_Tadashi realized his mistake only too late. As Callaghan turned to sit in his seat, he fixed the boy with a curious look. "Nerd school?"_

_"That's, uh," Tadashi scratched the back of his head, looking down at his feet and wishing there was an 'undo button' for real life situations. "That's what Hiro calls it. He's my little brother."_

_Callaghan started to laugh, earning a surprised look from Tadashi. "...sir?"_

_Still laughing, Callaghan shook his head. "Sorry, son, I just never heard it put that way before. But he's not wrong – only the brightest minds go here, and it's my job to make sure you reach your full potential, Mr. Hamada."_

_"Tadashi," the boy corrected, hoping he wasn't being too bold. "Just call me Tadashi, sir."_

_"All right, Tadashi," Callaghan said, sitting back in his chair and sweeping out his hands over the desk. On it was a picture of him and a brunette girl who had his eyes, both wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. "Let's work on this nursebot of yours. Did you have a name for it yet?"_

_"Well, I always liked Baymax..."_

Tadashi blinked and found himself back at the funeral. There was something in his hand, and he looked down, surprised to find himself holding hands with Hiro. For a moment, Tadashi couldn't think; had he reached for Hiro's hand, or the other way around? Then he realized it didn't really matter and just took comfort in the fact that it happened.

His little brother sensed movement, looked up at him, and gave him a small, encouraging smile. Tadashi returned it, if a little uncertainly. No words were spoken; none had to be. In this moment, the two brothers understood each other perfectly.

Tadashi went back to watching the speaker – the Dean, Professor Holgate, a dark-haired woman in her mid-fifties, he remembered now – as she finished her eulogy. There was a quiet smattering of applause before everyone was standing up and getting in line.

The line wasn't so much a line, really, just a loose procession that went in and out. People were taking their time, walking up the steps to the altarpiece. A picture frame of a softly smiling Callaghan was surrounded by candles, flowers, and cherry blossom plants, while the guests lit sticks of incense and planted them into the bowl of ashes, or placed small candles on and around the steps, a chaotic pattern of lights. They went one by one, taking a second to pay their last respects.

Looking down, Tadashi thought back to the day he first met Callaghan and somehow, still couldn't fathom the idea that this man was just..._gone_. Like, it just didn't seem possible. How did the most intelligent, careful and cautious man he knew end up dying in a freak accident? Is that what they called ironic?

It just wasn't fair. Callaghan had so much more to offer to the world – he was the one man Tadashi was sure could understand Hiro and his genius mind, to help the kid reach his full potential.

It felt wrong to be going into college without this man anymore. Who would guide them now? Would they be any good? Would they see the same things Callaghan did?

Tadashi stood there long enough for someone to tug on his arm. Then he heard someone say his name, "Tadashi? Is that you?"

It wasn't Hiro or Aunt Cass. Surprised, he turned around, to see the blond hair of Honey Lemon standing behind him, her brow drawn down in worry. Yet, when their eyes met, she broke out in a grin of relief and she ran over and hugged him. "Oh, it is you! Hey, guys, I found him!"

As Honey Lemon dragged him down the steps, Tadashi came face to face with the rest of his friends; Gogo, with her short black and purple hair, and chewing on a piece of gum; Fred, conspicuously missing his green cap and making his red moppy head look weird; and Wasabi, dressed in a suit ironed so straight that the edges could cut steel. They were all dressed in black, like him, but instead of looking sad, they seemed worried.

"Hey, man, haven't seen you in a while," Wasabi came over and clapped Tadashi on the back. He was so unprepared for it – still in a state of shock by the sudden appearance of his friends – that Tadashi nearly crumpled beneath the heavy pat. "Where've you been lately? We were worried sick!"

"Yeah, man," Fred said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. It occurred to Tadashi that he had no idea Fred even owned a cell phone, but he couldn't remember why. "We tried calling you, but you didn't reply to any of our texts or emails."

"We tried seeing you, but Aunt Cass told us away," Gogo said, answering the unasked question. She crossed her arms, giving Tadashi a skeptical look. "She said you were feeling sick lately, which was why we couldn't see you. Is everything all right?"

"Uh, yeah, I think," Tadashi had to go back through his recent memories. Then he remembered how, on Tuesday, Aunt Cass had come up to his room telling him that his friends were there to see him. What had he said? He remembered not being in the mood to talk, and probably wanted Cass to lie just to keep them away for a little longer. She seemed to have agreed to it, apparently.

This was not something he was willing to admit. "I've just been feeling...out of it, lately."

"We all have, bro," Fred said. He offered a friendly smile, though, to show goodwill instead of resentment over Tadashi's recent behavior. "It's cool if you want time alone, though, if that's what you need."

"We just wanted to make sure you didn't fall off the face of the earth," Honey added, then with a touch of earnesty. "I talked to Hiro, and he said you were there when the building collapsed...is that true?"

"Um, yeah." Tadashi felt his chest tighten, suddenly afraid where this conversation was going. When did Hiro talk to them? Email? Phone? How did they even get his number? Or maybe he talked to them when they came over to the cafe. Why would he tell them that? It was the last thing Tadashi wanted to think about right now.

"He also said that you tried to go inside like an idiot," Gogo added. She didn't appear angry, but was probably the one that looked the closest to it. "What were you _thinking_?"

"I just..." Tadashi looked up at the sky, wishing he could just disappear. He really didn't want to start crying in front of his own friends, out of shame or grief or both. "I just wanted to save him."

There seemed to be a collective sigh of surprise at that. Even Gogo softened a little bit, but Tadashi didn't see what her next reaction was because he covered his eyes with his hand, unable to look at them as the burning in his eyes intensified. Tadashi bit his lip, a last ditch attempt to keep his composure as his breath started to tremble in his throat.

"Hey, Tadashi, it's okay," Wasabi's arms practically swallowed him whole as he pulled Tadashi into a hug. "We're all here now, it's going to be all right."

"We're not angry at you," Honey added as she joined the hug. "We just want to help, in any way we can."

"You're just really stupid sometimes," Gogo said, sticking her head under Wasabi's arm and putting a hand on his shoulder. "For a smart guy."

"If there was anything Callaghan would've wanted for us," Wasabi said. "It'd be for us to stay safe and stick together."

"Yeah, group hugs!" Fred completed the circuit, flopping against Tadashi's back. "They make everything better, see?"

At the sound of all of their voices, the resounding warmth they brought, Tadashi couldn't help but cry. He really didn't have a choice now – for the past several days he had felt bereft and lost, and all along this was what he needed. Tadashi just realized he had been more open to it sooner. At least they understood, at least they stayed.

That was all he could ask for.

"Thanks, guys," Tadashi said, his voice muffled by Wasabi's suit. It was getting a little wet thanks to his face. "You're the best."

* * *

**fanart!**

**the-solar-surfer. de viantart. [co[m[/art/Funeral-528178540**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the seriously long update. Oh, man I was really stumped on what to write for this chapter. I meant it to be more cheerful than the last five, but I guess that didn't work out as well as I planned. I kind of held off, hoping for more inspiration, but I finally just said 'to heck with it' and typed something out. Sure, it wasn't like I planned, but I still like it. This mostly just summarizes the summer period, between Callaghan's death and the start of school. Technically, Hiro didn't wander into the plot until after school started, so it may still be another chapter or two before any mystery stuff happens. I'm not sure how I'm going to write that part either. It might have to be from Hiro's perspective, since he has to sneak around Tadashi now, and that's not part of the original canon. Who knows, might be fun!**

**(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

* * *

The rest of the summer passed without much event.

Tadashi didn't quite feel the same as he used to, but surprisingly it was the only difference he noticed in this world after the fire. A part of him expected some massive upheaval in his life, proportionate to gravity of his emotional state. He didn't know what those things could possibly _be_, but still. _Some things_ had to be different now, right? He couldn't be the only one affected by the fire like this.

He wondered how the world could keep spinning, how everyone could just continue on with their lives as though tragedies like this never happened. How did they do it? How did they just get up and forget? Tadashi didn't know if there was something wrong with him or them because he couldn't do the same.

But life went on, as it always did. Nothing changed in any big way and Tadashi didn't know whether he should be glad or worried. Sure, Aunt Cass was a little more careful in the way she spoke around him, and she tended to hover while he worked, which was kind of annoying when one was trying to program a robot or serve customers.

And Hiro always wanted to help with Baymax, but Tadashi kept pushing him away, to work on rebuilding his own micro-bot project. They had no idea what going back to SFIT would be like - who would be heading the new Applied Sciences college? Would Hiro get new scrutiny because of his age? They may ask him to keep his focus on the micro-bots if they didn't trust Hiro to start something else.

But ordering new material took time, as well as getting the money to fund it, so there wasn't much Hiro could do but wait. Aunt Cass was careful to budget her funds - even though Hiro got accepted into SFIT, there were still fees to pay, and it was tough to decide how the money should be spent.

Tadashi was afraid that Hiro might go back to bot-fighting, if only for the easy cash. As of yet, he hadn't seen any suspicious activity of his brother, and the hidden GPS tracker in his shoes showed that Hiro never wandered into the bad parts of town.

In fact, Hiro never seemed to leave Tadashi's side. He even hung out in the cafe when Tadashi was working, which could be a distraction. It was tempting to fool around with his younger brother and play games, but Tadashi had to keep his head on straight. He didn't want his own aunt to fire him from the only job he ever had. But Hiro managed to mostly behave himself, and Tadashi found himself starting to relax again in his younger brother's presence.

No, Tadashi realized, it was rather the _small_ things that he noticed. Like the way Hiro followed him everywhere he went. This usually wasn't so weird, since they lived in the same house and shared the same room, it was impossible not to see him all the time; but it became obvious when Hiro volunteered (!) to go grocery shopping when the cafe ran out of milk and sugar.

Hiro _hated_ grocery shopping, said it every time Aunt Cass asked him to go or made him put the food away – but he didn't utter a single complaint as he pushed the cart around while Tadashi picked what they needed off the shelves. They actually had a good time (and maybe knocked over a canned soup pyramid, and went cart racing in the parking lot). Everything went so smoothly that Tadashi didn't think it could possibly go wrong.

So it was odd when Tadashi got a call from Hiro later that day.

"Hello?" he spoke into the phone as he opened the overhead cabinet and started putting away the half dozen cereal boxes he bought (no one liked the same type). He had just recently returned from doing errands, to restock their kitchen as well as the cafe's.

"_Tadashi, where are you_?"

"What do you mean? I'm at home," Tadashi replied, frowning. Why was Hiro calling him in their own house? Was he really so lazy that going down a single flight of stairs was too much for him? "I just got back from grocery shopping, but I think I forgot something."

"_Yeah, man_," Hiro snapped, sounding oddly annoyed. "_You forgot me! I'm still at the store_!"

"Oh, crap!" The realization hit him like a freight train. Tadashi almost dropped his phone tearing back down the stairs, just barely remembering to grab his helmet before hopping back onto his moped. "I'm coming, Hiro!"

The seat was still warm from the last ride. Tadashi hit the accelerator so hard on his moped that it literally _squealed_ out of its parking spot. Aunt Cass had just opened the door to follow him, but he sped off before she could even ask what was going on. He tore through the streets, breaking at least half a dozen laws and going three times over the speed limit.

"All right, new rule!" Hiro said when he finally came to a screeching stop at the sidewalk in front of the grocery store. His little brother had been waiting there for him, arms crossed and scowling. "Never leave your brother at the grocery store, especially in the whole grains aisle, yuck."

"I'll add it to the list," Tadashi sighed, handing Hiro his helmet as he got onto the seat behind him. "Didn't run into any trouble, did you?"

"Come on, you could at least give me _some_ credit," Hiro complained as the moped puttered off, at a much slower pace this time. Hiro adjusted his weight on the seat, moving so vigorously that he nearly knocked the whole vehicle over. "I can't believe you forgot _me_, your only brother! Do you know the kinds of people that hang around the store? There are people with dogs in their bags and kids hogging all the games. They could've mugged me for quarters! Do you know how humiliating it is to get mugged by five-year-olds?"

"No more than having a genius younger brother who gets lost in a grocery store."

"Pfft, whatever," Hiro scoffed, taking out his phone to text. At least he wasn't rocking the moped anymore. "I'm going to tell Honey on you. I'll let her know that you're a horrible brother and then maybe I'll get to live with _her_ instead. Did you know her family has a pool? _We_ don't have a pool."

"That's because we live in the middle of the city, bonehead. Honey's from Sacramento."

"Still. Since when does the great Tadashi Hamada forget things?" Hiro replied as they came to a stop at a red light. He grabbed Tadashi's helmet and turned his head to look him in the eye. "Who are you and what have you done to my big bro?"

Tadashi pulled his head out of Hiro's grip, seeing the light turn green and pressing the accelerator. The sound of the engine filled the space, giving Tadashi and excuse not to answer that. Inside, he wilted a little. Was he really losing his touch? Tadashi didn't think he'd still feel the effects after a couple weeks.

This was the first big sign of the strangeness that would occur throughout the following summer. But even then it wasn't very obvious. Tadashi hadn't made a mistake as big as that in a while, and chalked it up to simple chance.

It was easier to think of it that way, but Tadashi knew, deep down, he was just lying to himself. The weeks passed by without disaster, but that wasn't what kept him up at night, staring at the ceiling and catching the phantom scent of smoke in the air. The very thought sent chills down his spine every time it happened.

Of course, he hadn't heard the last of it. Later, when he was serving drinks in the cafe, GoGo wandered in to chat. "Hey, loser, I heard you left Hiro at the store this morning. I know younger brothers can be annoying, but that's usually not the way you get rid of them."

"Ha ha," he replied with an eye roll. Tadashi wasn't really annoyed with her, just humorist the situation. "No, I just forgot. Hiro probably just blew the whole thing out of proportion, that's all."

"Sure, sure. But hey," GoGo leaned over the counter, whispering with a mischievous smirk on her face. "If you really want to get rid of Hiro, I know a guy."

"Very funny."

But Tadashi wasn't an idiot - he had a pretty good feeling his friends were conspiring behind his back, agreeing to check up on him every day to make sure everything was all right. They thought they were clever, never gathering all together unless it was a special occasion. Usually they only went one or two at a time, switching it up as though they just 'happened' to wander by the cafe that day.

It got pretty obvious after the fourth day of it happening. But Tadashi never called them out on it. He knew his friends were just coming from a good place, and to be honest the companionship was comforting, if a little patronizing. He wasn't a little kid that needed to be supervised all the time.

"No, I mean it. He's totally ready and willing to take care of Hiro at any minute. Just call and he'll be there."

Tadashi threw her a weird look as he fiddled with the espresso machine. GoGo sounded oddly sincere and it was starting to freak him out. "Wait, are you serious? Who?"

"Uh, hello?" GoGo rolled her eyes as if it were obvious. "Fred, duh. He's says he'd always wanted a sidekick."

"Oh, right," Tadashi had forgotten about Fred's enthusiasm for the superhero genre. Who knows, maybe one day the guy might actually become a superhero himself. "But where would Hiro sleep? Fred's place can't be that big. He has no idea how to take care of kids. Or how much Hiro eats."

"Who knows? I think he might be living under a bridge."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Are you kidding? Fred could live in Antarctica and still be happy. Until he complains, or something happens, then I'll do something."

"Fair enough."

"What about you?" GoGo asked, playing with a stirring straw. She was trying to play it cool, but she was deliberately avoiding his eyes, and her tone sounded stilted. "Everything all right so far?"

"Yeah." Tadashi decided to play along, if only for the sake of easing GoGo's concerns. If he set off any alarms, he might get another intervention, like at the funeral. He wasn't sure he could go through that again. "Yeah, everything's been going great. I mean, aside from the whole losing-Hiro-at-the-store thing."

"Good, that's good," GoGo nodded absentmindedly, bending the straw in half. After a second of silence, she asked, "...Any nightmares?"

Tadashi paused, nearly burning himself with hot coffee as he lifted the full pot. There it was, the big question. He should've known it was coming.

A few weeks ago, only days after the funeral, Tadashi had confided with Wasabi about a nightmare he had - reliving the memory of fire, trying to save Callaghan. Only, this time it was Hiro trapped inside. The building exploded before Tadashi could get to him. Like in real life, he was thrown back by the blast.

Then he got up. He saw the burning building, collapsed in on itself. He had watched, in horror, as that black specter with the pale eyes walked out the flames. Its hair floated in the wind. In its arm it carried a small body. Too small. Not breathing.

When Tadashi saw Hiro's face, he had woken up, crying. He almost woke up Hiro, the real Hiro, in his dream-induced panic. Tadashi had been able to hide it, but for days afterward he couldn't fall asleep, afraid of having the same dream.

Tadashi had hoped to put it all behind him. Maybe if he just tried to forget about the dream, it wouldn't keep haunting him.

So he lied. "No. Just the regular, weird ones, you know."

"You sure?"

Tadashi clenched his jaw, feeling a little frustrated by GoGo's concern. Sure, it was warranted, but what clue did she have of that? How could he explain how he wanted some things to be left alone, without making them upset?

He still hadn't figured it out yet. Instead, Tadashi did his best to keep his tone natural, saying "Yeah. I mean, if I did, I can't remember it, which is just as fine. I wouldn't want to, anyways."

"Well, okay." Thankfully, GoGo didn't press the matter. She tapped the counter with her finger, saying, "I have to go, packages to deliver. But call if there's a problem, okay? Anytime, it doesn't matter."

Although he felt a little resentful of her doubt, Tadashi was also grateful for that offer. He didn't know if things might go bad unexpectedly. It was nice to know he had her support, even at the worst of hours. "Y-yeah, thanks. See you later."

But the nightmares never left. The first few happened in the direct aftermath of the fire, so it wasn't that surprising. After that particular discussion, they eased up for a while, and Tadashi thought that was the end of it. The 'random' meeting with his friends in the cafe started to lighten up in July, especially after a great Fourth of July party. Perhaps he had managed to convince them he had recovered through cake and fireworks.

But upon returning home one night in early August after going out to the movies with his friends, Tadashi felt strange. The movie had been good and everyone had a fun time, but there had been a certain scene where the ninja princess returning home to find her village burned down...the images still flashed in Tadashi's mind, even as he went to bed. He knew it was the onset of a nightmare, but the next morning he couldn't remember it.

Faint images of a burning town, like in the movie they watched. Crying, screaming, typical images of death and destruction, but it didn't feel like it came from his own mind. Perhaps his brain was just recycling the memories, finding correlating with scenes from the movie and the fire and operating under the function that Tadashi_ needed_ to know this, even though he certainly did not.

But at least it wasn't vivid. They didn't stick with him throughout the day, and Tadashi could move on without too much trouble.

For nights he seemed to experience it, only to wake up with faint images flitting about in his head. Perhaps Tadashi was so glad to be awake again in the world of the living, of safety and reality and Hiro not being dead (why did that always come to him? Of all things, why?), that his brain simply let go of the dreams, only to store them in a secret place to be released at night, when Tadashi was most vulnerable.

He put up with it, mostly because there really didn't seem to be any other solution. And it wasn't so bad, to be honest. Tadashi didn't have too much responsibilities over the summer, and since he had no schoolwork to worry about, any sleeplessness wasn't too noticeable or detrimental to everyday life.

Maybe Tadashi was lucky. After the funeral, he had done some research into PTSD, depression, and shock after tragic death. He read stories of other people who lost friends and family to horrible accidents, even sabotage and murder. His symptoms aligned with what others reported, with what WebMD said was typical behavior for the situation. It was nice to know that at least he wasn't some weird special case with no solution – but then again, these cases didn't really have solid solutions either. Most said it took time to overcome the worst of depression, to be able to live normally after someone important died. Medication was recommended if it was bad enough, counseling if one could afford it.

But Tadashi didn't want to put his family through any of that. He didn't want Hiro to think he might be weak, or helpless, or not the big brother he was supposed to be. How was he supposed to be there for Hiro if he couldn't even be there for himself?

Maybe this was denial. Maybe Tadashi didn't care. So far, it worked.

Until it didn't.

It came back. The same dream he had, the same nightmare, whenever he had them.

Always the same.

Tadashi found himself walking through San Fransokyo in the winter. It was quiet, peaceful, serene. Not a soul in sight. His bare feet crunched in the deep snow, but it wasn't cold or painful. Tadashi almost enjoyed it, until he looked at the buildings. Looked at them hard.

They were all black. Burnt, smoking, charred. The further he walked, the worse they became. Some crumbled into ash, others were just hollowed remains. He thought he could hear screams inside, but whenever he got too close, they disappeared. Sometimes Tadashi saw shadowy forms in the smoke, gliding about like trapped ghosts. Whenever he squinted at them, two big moon eyes would look back. That towering black form, a demon from those old Japanese folktales his mother used to tell him, just waiting to leap out at him with hidden sharp claws, should he draw too close.

It was haunting and Tadashi wanted to leave, but he couldn't. The dream wasn't over yet.

He found himself walked down a familiar street. In front of him, the Lucky Cat Cafe — his home. Always the same.

Burning.

"_No!_"

Tadashi saw it and ran. Ran right towards the fire, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to, that it was wrong. He didn't care. Hiro and Cass were still inside. He just knew, in that bizarre omnipresent dream-logic sense, that his family was still inside their house, trapped, burning, _dying_ —

But somehow that wasn't the worst part.

No, the worst part was the fact that the harder Tadashi ran, the _farther away he got_. The house receded blocks, and suddenly Tadashi wasn't moving at all. He felt like he was trying to run through molasses, muscles going in slow motion yet everything else was normal. He couldn't fight through the haze; the more he focused on it, the more frustrated he got, and it just seemed to make everything even harder.

Always. Every time. He just wanted to die.

The house was still in front of him, so far away. Yet the sound of crackling fire was right in his ears, the heat against his face, so hot, too hot — no one should be inside, it's too dangerous, they couldn't survive —

Tadashi could even hear their screams. This time, he could hear them. Why? Why was it different? Did his brain just finally decide that he wasn't suffering enough?

It was Hiro. Of course it was Hiro. Why was it always Hiro?

First, only the vaguest notions of his little brother's voice; but Tadashi knew it anywhere. Even as he continued to run in slow motion, he strained his eyes, heard the voice get louder.

It was Hiro. It was Hiro calling out his name, begging for Ta_dashi, where are you, please, help me, Tadashi, it hurts, wake up Tadashi, it's too hot, it hurts too much, where are you, wake up, you said you'd always be there for me, why did you leave me, why did you lie, you're not a firefighter you're my brother why did you choose him over me why did you leave I hate you I hate you I hate you_

_wake up Tadashi_

_Tadashi_

_I hate you_

"Wake up!"

Tadashi jolted, sheets flying as he shot out of bed. Breathing hard and feeling the burn of tears in his lungs, Tadashi looked around wildly. _The fire where's the fire where am I?_

His room. Bright. Messy. Whole. Hiro.

"Wake up, Tadashi! Wake up!"

Hiro was jumping on his bed, mop of black hair bouncing up and down with his movements. Tadashi floundered, his mind still trying to catch up while he grabbed the edge of the mattress.

"First day of school! First day of school!"

"Wha...what?" Tadashi rubbed at his eyes, the screams of Dream-Hiro still echoing in his head. Somehow, his brain knew just how to hurt him right wear it mattered. "Ugh, what time is it?"

"Dude, its seven AM! And I'm up! First day of Nerd School! Let's go!"

_Oh, boy._ Tadashi had to force himself to look at his clock, the calendar on the wall. No, no, that can't be right, just yesterday they were at the beach, they had at least a whole month until classes started, he wasn't prepared to go back, it was too soon...June, July, August, they were long gone.

"It's September already?"

* * *

**The Grocery Store Incident was based on a Vine I saw (which unfortunately I can't remember the title or who made it); it seemed like a good way to add some humor to an otherwise gloomy story**.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the long wait! I was in a state of writer's block, I really didn't know how to write this next chapter after the last one. It was kind of time for a new mini-arc, since the funeral one was over. In this one, I decided to introduce two of the several OCs I'm adding to this. I think it's pretty obvious who it'll be once you read it, so I won't go into details. When I first started this story, it was originally going to be a Tadashi/OC story, but now I'm not quite feeling it anymore. Probably because I finally came down the movie-high after watching BH6. But hey, if you like the OC (I think its pretty obvious which one), I might still include it if you want. She serves other plot-related purposes, so that's not the only reason she's here, but whatever.**

**Edit 11/5/2016: Between Chapters One and Nine I made some edits, mostly with my OCs. I've got my outline done for this story, and I decided I don't need those two extra characters I had originally been thinking about adding. They're just a distraction, really, a holdover from when I was still super excited about Big Hero 6 and more focused on an OC-centric story rather than the one I'm writing right now. That's not to say there won't be ANY OCs, but I only have two in mind now, and they're relatively unimportant. I may or may not change the beginning, since someone saving Tadashi doesn't seem very important to me anymore.  
**  
**I think it's a good idea, because I can still keep the spectre that appears in his dreams, and make it more relevant with the movie plot.**

**(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

The sun blazed over the lawn of SFIT's campus, the grass a sparkling neon green, and the gates repainted fresh red.

Tadashi looked up as he passed underneath the gate, Hiro skipping around him, unable to contain his glee. He was like a puppy new to the world, wanting to sniff and bite on everything. If his brother kept this up for much longer, he might need a leash. But the sheer enthusiasm was practically contagious and Tadashi couldn't help but smile himself.

It was a new year. Another chance.

Hiro hadn't stopped talking since breakfast, not even when his mouth was so full it spilled cereal everywhere, not even when they were zooming through traffic so loud that Tadashi couldn't even hear him if he tried. Tadashi thought Hiro might've worn himself out by now, but his little brother seemed to have a never ending stream of thoughts that needed to be voiced.

"I can't wait to see what classes they have I hope I can meet more scientists you think it'd be okay if I asked for their autographs because I'm definitely asking for autographs especially if it's Stan Cobs and if I can't find paper I'll use my shirt and I'll _never _wash it ever and it'll be the most important thing I've ever owned and I'll keep it _forever _and pass it on to my children and grandchildren and tell them all how I met one of the most important programmers on Earth and how I wouldn't be there if it wasn't for my older brother who's a complete and total nerd and _still _manages to be the coolest guy around!"

Tadashi laughed, ruffling a hand in Hiro's hair. "Thanks, bro. It's nice to know I'm appreciated."

"You think we're going to have any classes together?" Hiro asked, skipping up the last of the steps.

"Probably not, I'm two years of classes ahead of you," Tadashi replied, shaking his head. "You're might be smart, but you're not _that _smart. We'll probably be working in the same lab, though. All the Applied Sciences majors work there."

"You mean you and the rest of the gang?" Hiro asked with a grin. Already he considered Tadashi's friends as his own; which was what Tadashi intended. "Awesome!"

Most kids Hiro's age weren't mature enough to handle the company of a tiny kid with big brains without bullying him - even fewer who were in college. And while Hiro wasn't very mature himself, he still looked up to people older than him, and the others were great at keeping a rational mind in case Hiro wanted to do anything crazy. Besides, they all had a good influence on him, and Tadashi had rarely seen Hiro so consistently happy without the reliable social life they brought.

Tadashi didn't want Hiro to stay locked up in his room, staring at a computer screen with no interaction with the outside world for over seventy-two hours. He _definitely _didn't want Hiro to spend his time competing in illegal bot-fighting in back alleys, either. This just so happened to be a happy medium.

"Do you think I'll get an office like you?" Hiro asked.

"Not yet. The board waits until you get on the Dean's List before they offer anything like that. You also have to present your capstone project idea beforehand, to show them what you'll be using it for. You'll probably have a workspace with everyone else in the main lab."

"Neat!" Hiro didn't seem discouraged in the least. He tugged on the straps of his new backpack, red of course, as he looked up at the sky and grinned. "When do I get to set up? I can't wait to start working on my micro bots again."

"After your classes are over." Tadashi glanced at his watch. He, of course, had memorized Hiro's schedule, mostly because he wasn't sure if Hiro would be able to remember it himself. "Speaking of which, your first one starts in ten minutes. Vector Calculus I. You remember how to get to Sato Hall?"

"Yeah sure," Hiro nodded, giving Tadashi a quick salute before heading down the path to the right. "I know this place like the back of my hand."

"Really? Because Sato Hall is _that _way, genius," Tadashi replied with a smirk, pointing in the opposite direction.

Hiro paused, turning around with a bewildered look, then shrugged and said, "I knew that. I was just testing you."

Tadashi wasn't going to fall for it. "I'm not the one who needs testing, bonehead. So I'd hurry if I were you. Professor Amori likes to lock the doors after the bell rings."

That wasn't true, but he took particular delight in watching the look of panic cross Hiro's face before he took off running. "Gotta go! Text you later!"

As Hiro disappeared down a hill, Tadashi just shook his head and laughed to himself. These next few years were going to be interesting.

Tadashi had yet to realize just how right he would be.

(●—●)

"Hey, Tadashi, come see all the fresh meat!" GoGo said, popping her head into his office. There was a mischievous grin on her face. "Look at how tiny they are!"

Tadashi just sighed and hung his head. Every year they did this, and every year it was the same. They spent about thirty minutes watching as the professor guided the sinew students around the room and showed them to the empty workstations, where they would eventually set up their various projects. GoGo liked to make up funny backstories for them, Honey liked to take selfies with them and pretend not to notice how many were intimidated by her height, while Wasabi critiqued their organization and well-kemptness and Fred got to show off his neat board tricks to the awed freshmen.

He'd rather just work on Baymax at the moment. Tadashi was starting to feel tired again, even though it wasn't even noon yet. It was like he hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. "I-I'm kind of busy right now, GoGo. Maybe later?"

"Oh, _come on _! This only happens once a year! You gotta live a little, Tadashi."

But there was no resisting the power of GoGo, so Tadashi just heaved a sigh and got to his feet. "Oh, all right. But just for five minutes. I've got a lot of work to do."

He didn't really want to leave work, considering how much he already had. Tadashi's new programming class was killer, and considering it was just the first day, he knew it was going to take up a lot of his time to just to get a passing grade — even more if he wanted an A, which he definitely did. They already had homework, lots of coding to parse through, as well as three chapters to read in the two-ton textbook that was worth more than Krei-Tech's new top of the line tablet.

But he might as well get a little break now before diving waist-deep into code, so Tadashi followed GoGo into the Nerd Lab (Hiro's nickname had caught up, to absolutely no one's surprise), where everyone stood back and pretended to work while a large group of tiny freshmen bustled around, chattering and oohing and ahh-ing as they were guided around by a woman with clicking heels.

It was Professor Holgate ahead of the charge, waving a stiff gloved hand around the various inventions and discussing what students at SFIT were capable of doing. Tadashi didn't expect to see her here. This wasn't the building she worked in. She was the head of the Computer Science program. What was she doing in Robotics?

She was a prim little woman, always perched in high heels and dressed to the nines in a black pinstriped pantsuit. A little older than Aunt Cass, Professor Holgate had piercing blue eyes that made you wish you went to a different school, guarded behind horn-rimmed glasses that sometimes flashed ominously under the right lighting.

Tadashi didn't think she'd be covering her hands, though. "Is she wearing latex gloves?"

Wasabi glanced at Tadashi before squinting at Holgate. "Oh, yeah, she is. Maybe she's protecting herself from germs. I should try that sometimes."

"What, why? This is _Robotics _, not Biology. We're not dissecting anything and we don't experiment with chemicals," Tadashi said, then glanced at Honey Lemon. "Well, not _most _of us. But if it _were _chemicals, wouldn't she be wearing rubber gloves instead?"

"I don't know, man," Wasabi just shrugged. "All geniuses have their quirks, like me, and this must be hers."

"Yeah, I suppose," Tadashi nodded to himself, still feeling a little skeptical. It was unfair to criticize when his own friends were a little weird, and weird was never bad. But Tadashi had met Holgate a few times before (even had a class with her — thankfully just one, which took many a sleepless night to pass), and he'd never seen her wear gloves before. "Maybe it's a new thing."

Geniuses and their quirks were not an unusual occurrence, and Tadashi was quite familiar with them himself. There was, of course, Wasabi and his habit of extreme organizing and subsequent freak-outs when anyone (particularly GoGo) messed with his stuff; GoGo's obsession with speed, unsatisfied with anything short of Mach 3. Honey Lemon liked to add colors and doodles to _everything, _to the point that the school board had to issue a new rule stating that unsanctioned painting of school property would be dealt with heavy fines. And, obviously there was Hiro, who would eat all red foods, no matter what they actually tasted like.

Then there was Fred.

Fred was...well, he _wasn't _a genius. But he was Fred. He had enough weird to fill up the entire state of California.

Tadashi couldn't think of any of his own quirks, although that may be because he felt almost boring in comparison to everyone else. He was sure that if he asked, they would be able to come up with a bunch of things, and Tadashi decided to avoid the embarrassment if he could help it.

"Explore at your leisure," Professor Holgate said, holding out her arm in a gesture of _go-ahead _. "We'll meet again in ten minutes."

As the new students dispersed to examine inventions more closely and ask questions, the tiny professor turned and headed towards the door. Tadashi did a double-take when he realized, no, she was not going to the doors, she was making a beeline to _him _.

"Ah, Mr. Hamada, I thought I saw you earlier," Professor Holgate said, peering up at him through half-lidded eyes. Tadashi couldn't fathom what she was possibly thinking at the moment. "Hiro's brother, correct?"

"Uh, yeah, why?" Tadashi frowned, crossing his arms and leaning back, immediately going on the defensive. Whenever adults asked him if he was related to Hiro, it usually meant one of two things: one, to remark on Hiro's intelligence and aptitude for robotics; or two, to inform Tadashi of yet another misdemeanor his little brother may or may not have committed, and perhaps place the onus of responsibility on Tadashi himself.

As if anyone could control Hiro. While Tadashi loved Hiro, and would do anything for him, he was not his brother's keeper.

"I saw him earlier today, making bets with other students on the outcome of the upcoming baseball game," Professor Holgate said, her expression unchanging. Tadashi felt the others shift around him, switching their attention from the students to the teacher now talking directly about a friend of theirs. Holgate pretended not to notice, merely tilted her head as she gazed at Tadashi, measuring his reaction. "He doesn't have a problem, does he?"

"What? No, of course not," Tadashi snapped back, perhaps a little too quickly. Inside, his gut filled with dread. The day had barely even started and already Hiro was finding himself in a heap of trouble. Aunt Cass was _not _going to like this. "He knows better than that."

"Good," Holgate sniffed, lifting her chin in a manner that said she won even if Tadashi had been telling the truth. "Because, as you all know —" she cast a side glance at the others, who simultaneously stiffened at the veiled insult — "Gambling and any other related activity is illegal on campus, and would result in immediate expulsion. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, Mr. Hamada, but take care. I'd hate to see such potential wasted."

"Right." Tadashi's voice was strained and he had to keep himself from glaring at the back of Professor Holgate's head when she walked off. "Thanks for the memo."

"Jeez, what's up with her?" Fred finally spoke once the woman was out of earshot. He cast a conspiratorial glance around the group, saying in a hushed whisper, "You think she's onto us?"

"Onto what?" GoGo asked with a skeptical eyebrow. "We're not _doing _anything."

"Maybe she knows we'd help Hiro," Wasabi pointed out with a shrug. Of all of them, he seemed the most relaxed, while Tadashi was absolutely seething on the inside. "Maybe she thinks he'll cheat and come to us, because he's not ready for college."

"Of course he's ready!" Tadashi exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air and gathering the looks of a few passerby. He felt his cheeks heat up and dropped his shoulders, feeling a little self-conscious. _Get a hold of yourself, man_. "There's no way he's spending any more time on his own. He can't go back to bot-fighting."

"We're not disagreeing with you, Tadashi," Honey said, a little disapproving of his outburst. She raised a hand in consoling, resting it on his shoulder. It felt comforting, a feeling helped by the fact she was several inches taller than him, and thus carried an air of authority. "This is just what Professor Holgate _might _be thinking. Hiro's so young, and sometimes he likes doing things the easy way, rather than the right way. We might have to help him, after all, if Holgate's serious in wanting him expelled."

"She's gonna be in for a big surprise," GoGo muttered, punching her fist into her palm. She, out of all of them, would probably actually punch a teacher. Actually, she might already have, but Tadashi couldn't be sure. He was afraid to ask.

"It shouldn't be too hard." Fred commented, flopping down in his favorite seat. "I mean, the classes here are gonna have him buried for weeks. He'll be too busy to do anything crazy or fun."

"Yeah, because _you _, Fred, of all people, would know," Wasabi said with a snort. "You don't even go to this school."

"So? Doesn't mean I can't love and appreciate what you guys do here." Fred said, reaching for his soda. Food wasn't necessarily allowed in the lab, but at least Fred sat far enough way that it probably wouldn't interfere. "Besides, San Fransokyo State is boring. Their mascot is whale. How lame is that? I'd rather be Godzilla."

"Our mascot isn't Godzilla," Tadashi said. "It's a dragon."

"What? I'm allowed to take liberties in the name of art."

"_Anyways_," Honey said before they got lost in a discussion about mascots. "I think Professor Holgate's the new dean of Robotics. If Hiro gets into trouble, she'll get to deal directly with him."

"Wait, since when was she the dean?" Wasabi asked, walking around his work station and fixing a misaligned tool. It wasn't actually out of place, it was just something Wasabi did when he got anxious. News like this could make _anyone _anxious, really. "I thought she was in Computer Science."

"She _was_," Honey said, holding up her phone. Its screen showed a miniature article from the school's online newsletter. "But she was the only one that qualified for the job. She has three PhD degrees, you know. One of them is in Robotics. She's spent twenty years working in that field before moving on to computers, but she still has the credentials. I guess it must have been an easy pick for the board."

"I miss Callaghan," Honey sighed, then went silent, as if realizing what she just said. Everyone went a little still, perhaps stunned that she said the name that had been haunting everyone's mind since the fire.

Callaghan's death hung silently in the air, like an anvil swinging over their heads. They hadn't openly discussed it since the funeral, a fact which Tadashi was glad for until this moment. There still seemed to be some unspoken words on the matter, but the way his gut tightened and his jaw clenched, Tadashi knew it wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now.

"This sucks," GoGo said finally, popping a bubble gum and accurately describing everyone's feelings on the matter. She was the first who picked up her head, who met their eyes. Her gaze settled on Tadashi, concern pinching her brow. "I mean, it just feels like it's never going to be okay. It's been months, and I kind of felt better over the summer, but now that we're back here...I don't know. I can't stop thinking about it."

"It feels like something's missing," Wasabi nodded, leaning against a nearby table, hands on his knees. "I keep forgetting he's gone, you know? Like any second Callaghan's gonna walk through those doors and start cracking jokes about greased joints or something."

"I almost went into his office the other day, looking for him," Honey admitted with a sigh, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. "I wanted advice on this new compound I made, and I'd already written three paragraphs of how I was going to explain it to Callaghan before I remembered that...he's here anymore."

"Holgate's probably got his office now," Tadashi muttered, his fingers tightening around his arms. He still hadn't uncrossed them since Holgate left. "I'm gonna miss those old movie posters he had."

"Augh, I know!" Fred said, holding out his arms and throwing his head back. "Callaghan had great taste for an old guy. He was so chill, you know, like literally the best teacher I ever had. You know, if I went here. He got me a year-round visitor's pass, free of charge!"

"Really?" GoGo frowned at him. "Huh. I thought you stole it."

"I'd keep it to myself, if I were you," Wasabi advised Fred with a jerk of his chin. He may be the worrier of the group, and perhaps too organized for his own good, but apparently it did him some good, since no one could ever find his secret cookie stash hidden somewhere in the Nerd Lab. "Or Holgate might take it away."

"You guys really worried about Holgate?" Honey directed a frown at all of them. "I'm sure she won't be, er, _too _much of a problem. She just wants to help."

"Excuse me if I feel a little differently," Tadashi said, shaking his head. "Maybe she'll tolerate us, since we're juniors now. Holgate sounds like she's got Hiro in her crosshairs. SFIT is the best thing for Hiro lately, and I don't want her to ruin that. My little bro's barely got enough motivation before, I don't want her to ruin this."

Tadashi could only imagine what would happen to Hiro if he got expelled. Complete and total annihilation to Hiro's desire to do anything ever, the likes of which may never be recovered from? Would Hiro just spiral back into familiar ennui of post-high school graduation? He wasn't even interested in going to college then, and Tadashi wasn't sure if that was going to change on the off chance that Hiro got kicked out of SFIT. Tadashi had no idea why Holgate would be so hard on a freshman, especially one as young as Hiro (allegations notwithstanding). What beef did she have with a fourteen-year-old kid?

"So what do we do?" GoGo threw up a hand. "It's not like we can rebel against our oppressive overlords and take the Institute for ourselves."

Fred threw her a surprised look. He held up a finger. "Actually, we _could _-"

"No." GoGo smacked his hand down.

"Guys, focus," Tadashi frowned, wondering what Fred was going to suggest, and then deciding against knowing. Fred's ideas were too wild, and Tadashi liked to keep both feet on the ground, so to speak. Four pairs of eyes turned on him and he inhaled through his nose before saying, "I think we should keep an eye on Hiro, in case he does anything, ah, criminal."

"Or anything that just _looks _criminal," GoGo added, casting a sly glance about. If anyone was going to start talking rationally, it was GoGo, who didn't take anyone's BS. "Sorry, but I don't trust Holgate. I think Tadashi's right. If Hiro's not her target, then anyone is."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine, guys," Honey Lemon replied, looking a little disturbed, and perhaps trying to alleviate the mood now. Positive Thinking was practically her middle name. She pushed her pink glasses further up her nose, pursed her lips. "Why do you all think he's going to do something bad?"

"Because he's Hiro and he doesn't know any better?" Tadashi shot back. He appreciated Honey's optimism, but he couldn't afford to think the same way. If Hiro's stay was as much in jeopardy as he believed it to be, then they had to be careful. "Just watch out for anything, okay? I don't want him to get in trouble. I _especially _don't want him to get hurt. If anything happens, just stick with Hiro and make sure he's safe, okay?"

"I think this calls for a hand stack," Fred said, before sticking his hand out in the center of the circle. Everyone looked at him like he'd lost his mind, but Fred continued regardless. "I'm calling it Operation: Protect Hiro. Do we all agree to defend Hiro Hamada's honor with our lives?"

"Oh, please," GoGo rolled her eyes at the hyperbole, but she was the first to add her hand to the pile.

The rest followed suit, with Tadashi last, his hand coming to rest on the top of the pile. There was an air of agreement, of solidarity in this, that made his gut flutter with pride. "You guys sure about this? I don't want to ask too much —"

"It's fine, Tadashi," Honey Lemon gave him a reassuring smile. "We know what we're doing."

Wasabi added, "And Hiro's as much our family as he is yours."

"All right, on three," Fred said, an infectious grin on his face. "Operation: Protect Hiro is go. One, two, three!"

"Protect Hiro!"

* * *

**This last part was mainly to set up the superhero team later, and why Tadashi would be kept out of the loop. The group would believe they are protecting Hiro by forming the superhero team, and don't tell Tadashi at Hiro's behest. The consequences of this is something I will be exploring later in the story.**


	8. Chapter 8

**So I'm officially deciding on no pairings, so hopefully you can judge my OCs without that bias. I don't want them to be too distracting or like Mary Sue's - I want them as well rounded as I can manage in a story focused around Tadashi and Hiro, with them and their skills realistic in the world already created by the movie. YOU BE THE JUDGE. I'm giving some backstory to one here, and you'll meet the third and final OC at end of the chapter. **

**Edit 11/5/2016: Took out the OC all together. Will not be appearing in the rest of the fic.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

Tadashi found Hiro while he was at lunch.

There were several cafeterias across campus that Hiro could've gone to. Since his second class ended at 12:15 Tadashi figured he would go to the closest one from his classroom - Hilltop Dining Hall, which took Tadashi ten minutes to reach by walking.

He could've taken his moped, but math left his brain foggy, and Tadashi didn't feel like turning the moped on and off, or having to find a parking space - it was going to be packed at Hilltop, and Tadashi already had a headache.

Once there, it took a bit of walking around, but Tadashi eventually spotted Hiro sitting with Fred and Honey Lemon, who was apparently taking their new responsibility quite seriously. Tadashi was pleased to see that his friends didn't think it was a joke, or that he was just being paranoid.

Tadashi liked to think his worries had logical ground. Considering everyone else in the dining hall, Hiro looked so small, and could've gotten overwhelmed so easily. It wouldn't have been hard for someone to pick out that Hiro was a little different, ahead of the rest. Krei did, and look what almost happened. Even though SFIT was safer than Krei Tech, and less likely to take advantage of some kid's creative genius, didn't mean that the school had no dangers to look out for. If Holgate was right (and Tadashi was reluctant to believe so), there was an apparent gambling problem on campus.

Still. Tadashi wasn't sure what reason Holgate would have to lie about this. She would've only just met Hiro. If she was telling the truth, then why would Hiro be so careless? Why couldn't he see that college was so much bigger, so much more difficult that high school? You couldn't get away with the same kind of shenanigans. Everything cost money, and Hiro couldn't afford to make immature mistakes.

_When will Hiro grow up already? _

That thought came out of nowhere, surprising Tadashi. He shook his head, concerned and a little disappointed with himself. Where had that come from? Hiro wasn't the problem here. He was just a kid, he was allowed to make mistakes. Surely there had to be a simple answer to all of this, and Tadashi was just overreacting. Something about Holgate had just set him on edge, and now Tadashi couldn't shake it.

Well, okay, Holgate's not-so-subtle threat of expulsion kind of had something to do with it, but still.

"Hey, Tadashi!" Hiro saw him a second after Tadashi noticed Hiro, sitting between Honey and Fred. Hiro got up in his seat, waving at Tadashi. "Over here!"

Still unsure about himself, Tadashi headed over, setting down opposite of Hiro. "Hey...guys. What's going on?"

"Nothin'," Hiro shrugged in that all-too-innocent way of his. Tadashi tried not to appear as though he was suspicious. It was hard to tell if Hiro was actually up to something, or just in a good mood. Or both. "Fred was just talking about the hotdog stand down by the stadium. Did you know it's open all day?"

"Best sauerkraut in the whole city," Fred said with a satisfied smirk and nod, swiping his hand through the air. "It will change. Your. Life."

"You look tired," Honey commented, raising her eyebrows at Tadashi as she ate a French fry. "Don't tell me Professor Volkov's already started on the syllabus on the first day of classes."

"Oh, he did, as usual," Tadashi said, running his fingers through his hair and trying not to think about the two-inch-thick textbook weighing down his backpack. "You're lucky you chemists don't have to worry about Advanced Engineering Math. I've already taken three classes with him, I'll probably die before the end of this semester."

Hiro snorted into his burger. "Words of a quitter."

"Hey, you." Tadashi flicked a chip off his plate at Hiro, annoyed but failing to hide a smile. "You're gonna have to take his classes, too, knucklehead. You'll definitely feel like quitting after, trust me."

"I'm sure I can handle it," Hiro replied with a smug look, smoothing the front of his shirt in a gesture that had far more bark than bite. The other two had no idea how Hiro tended to panic under stress, usually because he procrastinated. "It's only _math_."

"Yeah, man," Fred added, tucking his arms behind his head and slumping back. "It's only math. How hard could it be?"

"It's mostly solving proofs, and it's a lot less fun than it sounds," Tadashi said.

There wasn't really any point to convince Hiro it was difficult, since Hiro was the learn-from-experience type of person. Tadashi just liked to pester him sometimes. He directed his fork at Fred. "And _you _don't even go here. I still don't know how you pay for all this food."

Fred looked largely unconcerned about this or his three plates of lunch (burger, fries, pizza, two cookies, and more fries), which was strange because Tadashi was pretty sure he didn't have another job aside from behind a mascot. Like, Wasabi was a hibachi chef, GoGo was a bike courier, and Honey Lemon ran a home business selling handmade clothes online - Where the heck was Fred getting all the money for food here?

"Oh, you know, I got my ways," Fred said, rather cryptically. Tadashi wondered if any of them were illegal, but he doubted he would ever get a real answer. It was just another one of life's great mysteries. Fred was always an enigma, even in the realm of science and logic.

"I do it simply for the honor of wearing the mask," Fred continued in an overly formal manner, making the others chuckle. "Besides, how else am I going to prep for the moment when I'm transformed into a _daikaiju_." He raised his hands into claws and contorted his face, making loud monster sounds that made other students turn and stare like Fred was off his gourd. Well, he kind of was, in a way.

"_Daikaiju_?" Honey Lemon frowned, looking rather alarmed by Fred's behavior.

"Monster," Tadashi and Hiro said at the same time before grinning at each other. Tadashi let Hiro continue, if only to watch him show off a little in his knowledge of his ancestral country. Both brothers were bilingual, thanks to their parents. "It's Japanese for giant monster - like Godzilla, who Fred has a crush on."

"Do not!" Fred protested, then shrugged. "Okay, maybe I do. So sue me. And how can you not know what a _kaiju _is? I've shown you all of my comics! You even said that there might be a chemical formula to turn me into one!"

"Um, Fred, the only thing I said about was any chemical like that would be the kind that kills you," Honey Lemon winced, playing with her glasses and glancing away. "You would die very slowly. Besides, what's wrong with being human?"

"Are you sure that's what he is?" Hiro muttered into his food. Tadashi kicked him under the table.

If Fred heard that comment, he didn't let on. Instead, he said, "Uh, there's a severe lack of fire-breathing going on in my mouth, Honey. And I need to fix it, pronto. Sure, my body may _appear _human, but in my heart, I am _daikaiju_"

On that last word, Fred hit his chest with his fist for emphasis. Honey Lemon just rolled her eyes, but her smile was good-natured. "Well, maybe one day. Who knows, maybe science will become advanced enough for human transformation...although I'm not sure why they would…"

"I don't think we should encourage him," Tadashi said, at the same time Hiro thumped the table with his hand, "Well, if anyone's gonna do it, it's gotta be here! Nobody's better than this nerd school!"

Tadashi frowned, remembering why he showed up here in the first place. "Hiro, did you see Professor Holgate this morning?"

"Who, the lady with the gloves?" Hiro settled down in his seat, his enthusiastic mood seeming to dampen a little at the mention of Holgate. "I think so. She was talking to a student at the quad, and I was watching some kids play _Magic _before my next class. She kept giving me the stink-eye, though."

"She thinks she saw you betting with other students," Tadashi informed him, watching Hiro's face for any changes. But Hiro only blinked, and didn't say anything, so Tadashi prompted, "Well, did you?"

"Pssh, no," Hiro said, flapping his hand, although he sounded a little nervous. Hiro laughed when he was under pressure from Tadashi, so he knew where to look for signs. "What's there to bet about?"

"She said it was about the basketball game."

"Oh," Hiro said, looking at his plate. Tadashi stared at him; _he didn't deny it _, a voice said in his head. Hiro scratched the back of his neck. "That. Right. Okay, so this Jonny guy, he was one of the _Magic _players, said that SFIT's basketball team's on a losing streak, but I said that their new rookie, Kenny Han, was going to bring them back. We argued about it, then Jonny said if the Dragons win the next game, he'll buy me a Pepsi, and I agreed. If we lost, then I'd get _him _a Coke. Why would Holgate care? It wasn't even five dollars."

Tadashi was silent for a moment, considering Hiro's story. It seemed legit, and Hiro looked appropriately embarrassed. He had to admit, he was rather relieved that it turned out to be a lot less dramatic than Holgate made it sound like. "I don't know, Hiro. I don't think she likes you."

"Why?" Hiro threw out his arms. "I haven't even done anything wrong!"

"...Yet." he added as an afterthought.

Tadashi could only shake his head. He wasn't sure what Holgate had against the littlest Hamada, and it peeved him to no end. No student was going to get expelled for buying another student a soda. It wasn't like Hiro had somehow ended up in some intense betting circle and owned up to a bookie. "I know that, I'm just warning you. Be careful. Since Holgate's the Dean now, she has a lot of influence. Even without the board's help, she could get you kicked out on her word alone. So...try to lay low for a while. Don't do anything..."

"Bad?" Hiro winced.

"Crazy?" Honey Lemon offered, reminding Tadashi that they weren't having this conversation alone.

"Controversial?" Fred suggested, cleaning off the last of his burger. "I gotta admit, little man, this is seriously not bodacious news. But whatever happens, I got your back. There's no way Holgate's kicking out SFIT's newest MVP on my watch."

Tadashi smiled at Fred's loyalty, but he was doubtful of the promise. What the heck could Fred do to stop Holgate from doing, well, anything? He had even less influence than a regular student simply because he didn't actually go here. Holgate wouldn't consider him a threat for one second.

And to think Krei was bad enough. At least the businessman only wanted to steal Hiro's ideas, not ruin his entire life. Now Holgate was on the prowl, and that was someone Tadashi _couldn't _protect Hiro from, especially if Hiro actually broke the rules at any point in the future.

"I heard she was at the fire," Honey's voice echoed and yanked Tadashi from his little reverie. His ears immediately picked up on the word _fire _, and he jerked his head up to look at her. Honey Lemon's blonde hair flashed gold under the sun light through the window as she screwed up her lips, perhaps unable to decide how she felt about this information herself. "At the Exhibition Hall last spring? They say she disappeared shortly before it started, but no one saw her again until the memorial service. Maybe she took Callaghan's death really hard. I mean, they were close friends, right?"

Tadashi stared, realizing that Honey Lemon might have a point. He had no idea what Holgate thought of Callaghan, had never even considered their professional relationship. Maybe Holgate was like this because she was still in grief, and she was facing a lot of stress as the new Dean of the college. Of course, that didn't excuse her behavior towards Tadashi, or threatening Hiro's attendance, but to Tadashi it made perfect sense.

He didn't know for sure, obviously, but it wasn't like he was going to head over to her office and ask. _Sorry, Professor Holgate, I just wanted to ask how your feelings on Callaghan's death have led you to the decision to single out and bully a totally innocent kid? Or are you just always like that? _

Yeah, that'd go over well.

Tadashi only accepted this information with a silent nod before going back to his food, continuing to eat in silence. Fred was already off on another topic (video games), taking the attention off of Tadashi and allowing him a few minutes to think. He didn't necessarily feel any better after talking about this with Hiro, but at least he now knew that any rumor of his little brother getting mixed up in an illicit business (unfortunately, it wouldn't be his first time) were completely exaggerated to the point of falsehood. Tadashi ate the rest of his lunch in peace, trying to make himself enjoy the conversation the others had, but finding it difficult to put himself in it.

Once again, ever since summer started, Tadashi was consumed by the overwhelming desire to just be left alone.

The rest of the day went smoothly, and Tadashi didn't see Professor Holgate again. If he had, he was sure he might blow a gasket - who the heck accuses a fourteen-year-old college student with illegal betting on just hearsay? This woman may have lost her friend, but that was no excuse to take it out on his brother, who for the first time finally found a place where he was accepted for exactly who he is.

Tadashi couldn't let Holgate threaten that; he tried too hard, spent so much time just making sure Hiro got out of high school alive, to keep that genius going and motivated, instead of wasting his time playing games or feeling like a freak. It had been hard on Hiro, as well as Tadashi, and he couldn't help but feel like if Holgate won, then all his effort would be for nothing.

At about four o'clock, after his last class and working in his office, Tadashi got a text from Hiro complaining he was bored. With nothing else to do, Tadashi decided that they might as well head home.

Hiro, with his classes over for the day (he only had three), was in the Nerb Lab with the others, setting up his assigned work area. A few other Freshman were setting up shop as well, but most weren't getting a lot of work done. They were far too interested to watch the older students play with their contraptions.

Hiro already had his new computer and monitors set up, with an array of video game controllers, action figures, and anime posters on his wall. SFIT had been kind enough to loan him a 3-D printer, to help with Hiro's design capabilities — it was bigger and worked much faster than the one in their garage. Compared to the others, his work area was rather bare, although that was due to the fact that Hiro was still waiting for the new micro-bot supplies to come in.

Gogo and Fred were watching him play a game — _Kingdom Hearts _, it looked like. Tadashi worried that he might have trouble pulling Hiro away from the game (he was apparently trying to show off), but as soon as he opened the door, Hiro handed the controller to Gogo, popped off the seat and grabbed his backpack.

"About time," Hiro said, smirking. "What the heck were you doing in there? You've been shut in for hours."

"Homework."

"It's only the first day!"

Tadashi chuckled, ruffling Hiro's hair. "That's college, bro. So how'd your classes go? Make any new friends?"

The sun was still fairly high in the sky as they left the building, and Hiro was still in a chipper mood, telling Tadashi all about what happened while he got on the moped and started the engine. "Well, you already know about Jonny and the _Magic _gang, and I think they like me enough to let me join. I've only got my Red deck, but I think I'm good enough to go against the pros. And then there's a few freshman, of course, although they're kind of shy — "

"Doesn't sound like anyone I'd know," Tadashi muttered wryly, stuffing a helmet on Hiro's head before puttering down the road towards the street.

Hiro punched him in the shoulder as they came to a stop at the light "Hey! I'm plenty — er — not-shy! They just have to get to know me first. And let's be honest, do you know anyone braver than me?"

"Uh," Tadashi had to think about it for a minute. The light turned green, and he gently pressed the accelerator. "_Brave _wouldn't be the word I'd use. I think _reckless _would be a better descrip —"

"_OUT OF THE WAY_!"

"Whoa!" Tadashi hit the brakes just in time.

A motorcycle roared by, missing Tadashi and his moped by inches. The other rider swerved and his brakes screeched, rubber burning as the motorcycle went at an impossible angle before coming to a stop and righting itself.

A parade of other motorcycles followed him, an entire squadron of gang members, gunning their engines and halting all traffic as they raced through, taking up the entire road and weaving in and out between cars and trucks.

The rider turned and glared at them. Broad shoulders beneath a leather jacket covered in spikes, with the sleeves ripped off. The guy's arms were covered in tattoos, with a prominent red dragon wrapping around his left arm. But the most startling thing about the man was that he was wearing not a helmet, but a _mask _— a weird construction of an umpire's helmet, black leather, and round goggles, all stitched haphazardly together. Tadashi didn't know what he expected of an angry motorcyclist, but an extra from a _Mad Max _movie probably wasn't it. The guy looked like he belonged in a movie about demonic biker gangs.

Tadashi stared at the biker for perhaps longer than necessary, rendered speechless. He had no idea there were people in San Fransokyo who looked — no, _dressed _— like this. But the goon regained his attention when he snapped, "Watch where you're going next time!"

And then with an angry kick, the rider restarted his engine and spun off in a burst of gravel, leaving the Hamada bros coughing in a cloud of exhaust.


	9. Chapter 9

**Edit 11/5/2016: Teengens agreed with me that the argument here is a little too quick, so I'm lengthening the scene. Also, the morphine with Baymax was removed; originally, I wanted to input some humor to lighten the mood, but upon rereading it didn't match the tone and kind of just feels weird and uncharacteristically silly. Both scenes now feel more grounded and serious (realistically) in my opinion.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

Aunt Cass clucked her tongue when the boys told her what happened after they got back to the café.

"I can't believe how bad the crime has gotten in this city," she sighed, shaking her head as she served a customer their coffee and Danish pastries. The Hamada brothers sat at the barstools side by side, sipping their milkshakes (chocolate-vanilla swirl for Tadashi, and strawberry-watermelon for Hiro); Hiro kicked his legs, still a little short for the stools, but no less excited to get free sweets. She continued, "It used to be so nice before. No motorcycle gangs, no vigilantes, no illegal bot-fighting…"

She gave Hiro a pointed look at that last one, but he pretended not to notice. Tadashi nudged him with his elbow, and in response Hiro averted his gaze, before clearing his throat and said, "Uh, what vigilantes?"

"Oh, you know." Aunt Cass waved her hand vaguely, tossing her head to the side with an ironic smile on her face. San Fransokyo was hardly your average city, but you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who'd consider the place_ dangerous. _At least, not people like Aunt Cass."Those mask-wearing weirdos that run around hitting other bad guys with sticks and thinking they're saving the city? Honestly, they should save the heroing in the police."

She didn't seem to notice the intense curiosity on Hiro's face, the kind that appeared on the faces of kids who got too many bad ideas. Tadashi could only imagine what was running in Hiro's head at this moment.

"You think they can clean up the city?" Tadashi asked, a little doubtful. San Fransokyo had a decent enough police force, but they seemed rather small potatoes compared to what was out there. Not that Tadashi had ever seen any real criminals aside from that biker gang, and those bot-fighters he had to share a cell with (not the best way to spend three hours, although not as violent as he feared it would be) but still. Since when did the city have vigilantes running around? "Seems kind of like a big job."

"Well, it was easier back when they had extra funding," Aunt Cass said, taking a cloth and wiping down the countertop. The atmosphere in the café was peaceful, the room filled with a quiet roar of chattering voices and clinking utensils. "They probably think it's just dumb kids fooling around."

Tadashi and Hiro exchanged looks. The one they saw on the motorcycle didn't look like anyone Aunt Cass would consider a 'kid'.

It was concerning, to say the least. Then again, there wasn't much people like them to do, at least not directly. Tadashi was too busy thinking about school to be worrying about San Fransokyo's crime. On top of it all, Tadashi wasn't a fan of violence, and he couldn't think of any solution for their crime problem that _wouldn't _involve people getting hurt.

Or killed.

That sent a shudder down his back. "We're probably better off just leaving it alone."

Hiro threw him a startled look over his milkshake. "Dude, seriously? If anyone, I thought _you'd _be the guy to do something."

"I'm…" Tadashi felt a jolt of surprise at this, maybe a little chagrin. It was flattering to hear this, that Hiro thought so highly of him, but the feeling was dampened at the prospect of having to disappoint his younger brother. "I don't know, Hiro. Do what, exactly? It's like Aunt Cass said, it's the police's job to take care of stuff like that. We're just civilians, Hiro, we're not supposed to get involved."

"But shouldn't we at least try to _help_?"

Tadashi blinked, frowning. "What're you saying? We should just put on capes and give ourselves code names?"

"I was actually thinking of a microbot army," Hiro said, raising a finger.

Tadashi didn't think there could be a worse idea. "Hiro, no."

"What? It's a great idea!" Hiro said, straightening so he was sitting on his knees on the stool. He held out his arms, spoke loud enough that he got the attention of a few nearby customers. "When I finally rebuild all my microbots, I can program them to be, like, the police, and round up criminals. If you can build with them, you can, I don't know, _capture _people, too!"

"That doesn't change the fact that it's _illegal_," Tadashi looked to Aunt Cass, hoping for back-up, but she had left her post at the counter to serve some customers, leaving the two brothers to handle this on their own.

"Well, yeah, I mean, not the whole _breaking-the-law _dealio," Hiro said with a roll of his eyes. A grin grew across his face, eyes lighting up as he really took the idea as it left his lips. "But just imagine it! Microbots all over the city! They're fast, mobile, and easy to control. If only I can speed up the manufacturing process…I'd have a whole army!"

"An _army _of microbots?" Tadashi said incredulously. "And who'd be controlling them. You?"

"Well, duh. Who else knows them better than I do?"

"Hiro, I know you mean well, but…" Tadashi sucked in a breath. "That's a really _bad _idea."

"What do you mean, bad? It's great!"

"Hiro, you're not going to be in charge of a robot army over the city. Do you know how crazy that sounds?"

"Boys," Aunt Cass called in a warning tone, glancing over her shoulder at the two of them, one hand on her hip as she poured coffee in someone's cup. She was too far away to intervene, however, and both boys ignored her. They're voices steadily raised as the argument gradually turned into a fight, without either of them realizing it.

"But isn't that what you always say?" Hiro demanded, getting into Tadashi's face with a scowl. Tadashi had one to match, pushing Hiro away and off the chair. Hiro squared his shoulders, said, "What happened to doing what's always right, huh, Tadashi? I thought you wanted to help people!"

"I _do_!" Tadashi snapped, raising his voice so he was louder than Hiro. He threw out his arms. "I'm just not being stupid about it!"

Almost immediately, Tadashi knew that was the worst thing he could say. Tadashi had always been smart about what he said to Hiro — he was careful not to demean his little brother's intelligence, while also making sure to keep his ego in check. But he had never called Hiro _stupid _before. Never like he meant it.

"Tadashi!" Aunt Cass gasped, whipping around to stare at him.

He watched as the anger in Hiro's expression fell away to hurt, brown eyes going wide, mouth falling open. The love Tadashi had for Hiro was even greater than the potential he saw in him, and Tadashi realized with horror how easily he crushed it in a single blow; a punch in the gut would've hurt less.

All around them, the café went silent, the voices and tinkling and the clatter coming to a sudden stop as everyone turned to stare at the two Hamada brothers, having it off.

"I-I'm sorry," Tadashi muttered, his shoulders hunching up. He ducked his head, utterly embarrassed and wishing he could rewind time and never say those words every again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, Hiro, I don't know what came over me."

Hiro's face turned hard, jaw clenching and eyes narrowing. When Tadashi reached out to him, he jerked away, turning his back to Tadashi and hunching over the counter. Tadashi was disappointed, but not surprised; Hiro's pride kept him from showing vulnerability, especially in front of an audience, and certainly to Tadashi.

"Tadashi, I think you should go upstairs," Aunt Cass said in a low tone, frowning between the two of them. Tadashi glanced at her, felt the judgment being passed; they were definitely going to have a talk about this later. "You two need to cool down a little bit."

Nodding silently, Tadashi pushed back from his seat and got up. There was no point in arguing; Cass was right, and he had brought this on himself, blurting things that he didn't mean, things that hurt Hiro. He was ashamed of himself, and embarrassed that he let the fight get to the point that one of them had to be kicked out. It wasn't usually Tadashi, either, that it happened to, and of course the one time it happened, it was in front of an impressionable audience.

As he pulled away, he decided to add his last thought to Hiro, to explain what he really meant. "You just have to pick your fights, Hiro. That's all I meant."

But Hiro kept his face turned away, so all Tadashi was talking to was the back of his head. He just sighed and kept walking, feeling the eyes of every customer in that room follow him until he disappeared up the stairs.

He kept going until he reached the top floor. At this point, the sounds of the café had resumed behind him, and now all Tadashi had were his thoughts to comfort him.

Only they weren't very good at it.

_Wow. Way to honor the family name, Tadashi. This is just going to rake in the business for Aunt Cass! Your parents must be so proud_.

The cold, snide voice made Tadashi clench his fists. The urge to hit something was too great, and before Tadashi could think —

_Crunch! _

It was so satisfying, feeling the wall give way to his fist. The crackle of wallpaper, the crunch of drywall, how fragile and easy it was to break. Tadashi had ample training in Karate, he knew how to direct his blows the right way, to hurt someone without hurting himself. But the most he ever did was snap one of those pieces of wood apart.

It was supposed to teach discipline, control, which Tadashi thought he had — if so, then what was this?

He closed his eyes and grit his teeth. God, what was wrong with him?! His attempt to dissuade Hiro, to protect his little brother, had failed spectacularly. He only meant well, but of course Hiro didn't understand. Even worse, Tadashi let the entire situation get out of hand. He was the elder one, he should know better. First he insulted Hiro, now he was breaking things? He was such an idiot! Tadashi didn't even deserve a brother like Hiro, he didn't deserve the family he had, and here he was, ruining everything his parents gave him!

Taking his hand out of new hole in the wall, Tadashi sagged back, leaning against the wooden beam behind him. All the energy just seemed to seep out of him all at once; now he just felt tired. Still angry, but most tired, and upset that once again he had let his emotions get the better of him. Twice, in less than ten minutes.

Tadashi covered his face with his hands. This hadn't even started out as a bad day. How did things go sour so quickly?

**(●—●)**

The nightmares only got worse.

It had only been a few weeks, and already Tadashi was having difficulty getting through the day. Exhaustion weighed him down like cold wet blanket, and no amount of sleep could make it go away. In fact, just the idea of sleep made Tadashi shake a little whenever he thought about it. Every time he closed his eyes he could see fire, and no matter how hard he tried to focus on his work, his mind always strayed towards Callaghan and Hiro — that awful choice, the one with no right answers, the one he messed up no matter what he did, in real life and in his dreams.

Before, getting out of bed in the morning had been as easy and natural as laughing at a funny joke. Now, it was Hiro's turn to drag him out, throw clothes on his head, and make his alarm clock be _extra loud _. That last part wasn't really a kindness; Tadashi knew Hiro was still angry about the fight in the café; this was his idea of revenge. This also included using his toolbox and not putting it back, or changing the password on his computer.

Tadashi didn't complain, of course. He deserved it. Every last bit. Hiro would bounce back, as he usually did, and maybe then he'd forgive Tadashi.

Of course, that didn't stop Tadashi from thinking that Hiro would hate him, now and forever. And why not? Hiro didn't need a brother like Tadashi to hold him back. Every day they shared the same space, got in each other's way, and couldn't agree on anything. More than once, Aunt Cass had to intervene, and the other night Tadashi slept on the couch, because being the same room as Hiro had been the cause of more fights than not. Not even important fights, like in the café, but just stupid things, like picking up clothes and stop hogging the bathroom, et cetera, et cetera.

Had it always been like this? Tadashi couldn't remember. Maybe Hiro was right to be so annoyed with him. Maybe Tadashi should just leave him alone.

Every day Tadashi got up, saw the poster he moved to hanging over the wall by the staircase. It now hid the hole he created, the one he was too embarrassed to show anyone. Just the sight of it now made his stomach churn. Hiro had no idea, and never once had he questioned it.

Tadashi decided it was better that way.

Class and work provided little distraction to these insidious thoughts. If the work was too easy, he got bored. If it was too hard, he didn't want to think about it anyways. At least with the latter, Tadashi's priorities were a strong enough motivation to keep working until he finished.

The problem was the fact that he always managed to finish.

When homework proved to be only temporary in keeping his thoughts from going to those dark places, Tadashi turned his attention to Baymax, still kept in his office. To be honest, Tadashi had been holding off on working his robot for a while. He wasn't sure why — Tadashi told himself it was this semester's heinous workload, but that kind of felt like a lie. Especially now that he had free time like this, and spent it wandering aimlessly around the Internet.

Now, it was a struggle to put one foot in front of the other. Classes dragged by — for the first time, Tadashi began to _dread _school. He dreaded having to walk to class, to find a seat, to sit through a lecture that made his ears buzz and his eyes droop. Each second that passed felt wasted, but Tadashi didn't know how to fix it. _Everything _felt pointless now, and he didn't know what to do to change that.

It wasn't until he spotted Dean Holgate one day walking in the lab, a sight that had him ducking behind a wall before he could be seen, did Tadashi figure it out. Maybe it was Baymax. He still hadn't finished the robot, and Holgate had been sending him email after email wanting updates on his progress.

It was the first time in years since Tadashi ever had to lie to a teacher.

He should probably do something before Holgate started checking for proof.

Returning to his office, Tadashi dragged the red box that was Baymax's collapsed form to his desk, plugging in a wire to his computer so he could work on the robot's software. There were still some bugs, mostly with language and facial recognition that Tadashi wanted to work on before giving Holgate any look.

Going through lines of code made his head spin, but Tadashi forced himself to keep working. He couldn't just quit because he had a headache — what kind of attitude was that? In fact, his concentration was so fierce when Baymax suddenly activated. Not the sound of air filling up, the sight of a white balloon man forming in the corner of his eye, informed Tadashi of what was going to happen.

"_ Hello, I am Baymax _," the calm voice nearly made Tadashi jump out of his seat. "_Your personal healthcare companion. I heard a sound of distress. What seems to be the trouble_?"

Tadashi recovered quickly enough to realize his mistake. He sighed, righting himself in his chair, and went back to his computer. "Sorry, Baymax. I must've activated your audio sensors. It's a false alarm."

"_On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain_?" Baymax asked, as though he hadn't even heard Tadashi. Little faces appeared on Baymax's torso of expressions of pain, the default response to any situation.

Clearly, Tadashi had to work on his audio commands as well. He just waved his hand at Baymax, pushing the robot away from him. "It's _fine_, Baymax, I'm not hurt, it's just a –"

"_You have selected a pain scale of 8_," Baymax said, then raised his hand. A needle popped out of his finger. "_Most hospitals recommend a dose of morphine. Would you like me to contact emergency services_?"

"What? N-no!" Tadashi slammed his hand over the phone on the desk before Baymax could reach it. Stumbling out of his chair, Tadashi finally faced Baymax head-on, holding out his hands so Baymax could focus on what he was saying. But Baymax also had the capability to contact people with his own internal computer system, which was a little harder to circumvent. "No! Baymax, don't call them, I don't need an ambulance. Man, I seriously need to make some updates….Baymax, I am satisfied with my —"

"_You are experiencing too much pain to be moving right now _," Baymax said, approaching Tadashi with small steps, his short legs unable to take great strides. The length of his arms helped close the distance though, attempting to sit Tadashi down, and Tadashi had to jump away once again before the bot could manhandle him. "_I must access your injuries for further diagnosis. Scanning you now._"

"No, you don't have to —"

"_Scan complete_."

"Unbelievable." Tadashi muttered, hand flying to his face. He _really _had to work on these healthy protocols. A verbal override command was definitely needed.

"_You have sustained no injuries. However_," Baymax blinked at Tadashi, tilting his head as though surprised by his findings. "_You seem to have low levels of cortisol, and your neurotransmitter data indicates you are experiencing mood swings. Regular diagnosis would be puberty, but you are too old. I do not have any information on this illness in my database, thus. I am not qualified to make a diagnosis. I think I am in need of an upgrade, Tadashi_."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it." Tadashi said, his shoulders slumping. Just add that to the list of things he needed to do. What did that even mean, mood swings and low cortisol levels? "I'll have to compile an encyclopedia of psychological illnesses, which will take…ugh, forever. Sorry, Baymax, you can only take care of physical...biological problems for now."

"_Oh, I see. You sound tired, Tadashi_." Baymax said, following Tadashi as he sat back in his seat, standing so close that his belly squished Tadashi against the desk. "_Lack of sleep can be detrimental to your health._"

"Yeah, thanks for the memo," Tadashi snapped, not appreciating the advice. _Obviously _he knew that, he _created _Baymax, after all. "I'll work on it."

"_I recommend a nightly dose of melatonin, to better ease you into REM sleep._" Baymax continued, not catching the sarcasm in Tadashi's tone. The boy just ran a hand over his head, getting more frustrated the longer Baymax spoke. "_Irregular sleep cycles can lead to aforementioned mood swings and irritability, which you are displaying right now_."

"Okay, thanks, I get it!" Tadashi snapped, finally losing his temper. He threw up his hands, saying, "I can't sleep right, I can't think right, it's a whole mess! I don't need you to tell me that, Baymax!"

"_But I am your personal healthcare companion." _Baymax stepped back from Tadashi, regarding him with a look that might've been bewilderment, even pain, had he any more than a set of black eyes. " _You designed me to help _—"

"Well, I should've designed you to shut up," Tadashi muttered, hitting the spacebar on his computer to finish the code sequence. Before Baymax could say anything else and interrupt him again, Tadashi practically shouted, "I am satisfied with my care!"

Baymax stared at him for a long moment, before finally shifted over to his charging station. As he started to deflate, he said, "_Very well, Tadashi_."

"Thank you!" Tadashi huffed. There was a strange _knowing _in Baymax's voice that Tadashi didn't like, and he couldn't be more relieved when the white round robot finally returned to its little box.

For some reason, Baymax's words still rung in his head. Why _was _Tadashi feeling this way? Mood swings weren't really normal for him.

Frowning at his computer, Tadashi leaned over and opened up his Internet browser. He was about to type in 'low cortisol levels' before he stopped himself. What was he doing? Tadashi wasn't sick. It was just regular stress. He didn't need help.

No, what he _needed _to do was finish Baymax and stop getting distracted by all these little things.

When Tadashi was finished with the update, he decided he had enough of Baymax for a while. Just that one conversation was enough for Tadashi to realize he didn't need to deal with that again for a while, not while he was so busy.

That night, he brought Baymax home, where he would stay in a cramped corner of Tadashi's bedroom, where he couldn't bother the Hamada boy at work anymore.

Out of sight, out of mind.


	10. Chapter 10

**Aughhh sorry for another hiatus. Bad writer's block, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work Tadashi into the later narrative of the movie. The first and middle make sense to me, but the ending...ehhh?**

**Anyways, more notes at the end.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

_You're a failure, Tadashi._

Tadashi groaned into his pillow, pressing his hands over his head and ears as though he could block the voice out. He cracked open one eye, saw that he had twelve minutes till his alarm rang. Should he just get up now?

_Why bother? It's not like it's going to make a difference._

Sunlight pierced through the curtains above his head, casting white light across him and the bed. Tadashi squeezed his eyes shut, but it was too late - he was already blinded. Wincing, Tadashi pulled himself up. His muscles protested, shoulders heavy with some invisible weight. The only thing he looked forward to today was alone time in his lab at school.

Even though the sunlight made it impossible to sleep at that point, and Tadashi had already decided he wasn't going back, he couldn't shove away the grogginess from his mind. Tadashi wasn't surprised by this, and he didn't try to fight it later with coffee. He got up, picked his clothes in a sluggish daze. After what felt like weeks of this seemingly endless dread, Tadashi had given up trying to figure it out.

_What's even the point?_

That insidious voice was constant in his head now, something Tadashi couldn't shake. Sometimes it was faint, sometimes it was loud, but it was always there, in the back of his mind, reminding Tadashi that he was here, and Callaghan wasn't.

"Tadashi?" A voice broke him out of his reverie.

He looked up, surprised to find himself leaning on the front counter of the cafe, staring at a plate of uneaten scrambled eggs. Tadashi found himself looking at Aunt Cass, standing on the other side of the counter, giving him a strange look.

"What're you doing here?" She asked, the coffee pot in her hand. She leaned over, served the customer sitting two seats away, but didn't take her eyes off Tadashi.

"Hm?" He blinked owlishly at her, the fork loose in his grip. Tadashi had forgotten he'd been holding it, then made a half-hearted effort to take a bite while Cass was watching him. He glanced at his watch, confused. "What do you mean? I'm not late for class."

"Class?" Cass set down the coffee pot, crossed her arms. "Tadashi, it's _Saturday_. You know, the weekend? When exhausted college kids sleep in?"

"I...what?" Tadashi shook his head, almost not hearing her for a second. Did Cass just say it was Saturday? "No, that can't be right, my alarm went off —"

"You forgot to turn it off," she said, sighing in what was probably resignation. To Tadashi, it sounded like disappointment. As his gut twisted, Cass turned around, flipping the eggs sizzling in the frying pan. "Don't tell me you've forgotten the day again. What's this, the third time this month?"

The third time? Tadashi pressed a hand to his head. He didn't even remember the first. How could he forget what day it was? During the summer, it made sense, he had nothing to worry about then. But Tadashi _never_ forgot the date during the school year.

His voice was dead on his tongue. "I-I guess."

Cass threw him a strange look over her shoulder, one hand on her hip. Her green eyes flicked up and down, appraising him. There was a frown on her lips, a line pinched between her brow. "Are you feeling all right, Tadashi? Hiro didn't keep you up last night, did he?"

"No, no," Tadashi said, although he couldn't quite remember what Hiro had been doing last night. He'd been keeping the screen closed between their rooms, although he was sure the light coming from Hiro's side was from the computer. Hiro liked playing online games with his friends until well into the wee hours of the morning. "I just had a bad dream last night."

"Oh," Cass pursed her lips. "Well, you can go back and catch up on your sleep. I don't need you down here. Hiro's probably going to sleep in until noon, as usual. Your shirt's inside out, by the way."

Tadashi made a noncommittal sound in his throat, nodding vaguely before he pulled himself off the stool and shuffled his way back upstairs. It didn't even occur to him until later that he should've finish his breakfast first, or addressed the fact that his clothes were in disarray.

No. Tadashi wasn't hungry. He had felt little compulsion to eat lately. And a part of him just didn't care.

_You're a complete idiot, you can't even put your clothes on right. What kind of loser can't take care of himself?_

This thought hit him just as Tadashi reached the top of the stairs. His fists clenched and he turned into the bathroom, slamming the door in his own frustration. Then he winced, regretting it instantly. Tadashi never slammed doors before. He always liked to think he was better than that.

Well, too late now, the deed was done. He could hear Hiro make a noise of complaint on the other side, but Tadashi decided not to make an apology. There wasn't enough energy in him to even find his voice.

Turning to the sink and the mirror hanging over it, Tadashi met a reflection he didn't recognize. Tadashi stared at the guy in the mirror for a full five seconds, uncomprehending, before he finally figured out that it was _him_.

Unkempt hair. Bags under his eyes. A grease smudge on his cheek that had been there for who knows how long. There was a slump in his shoulders, which he usually held so straight and back.

Tadashi closed his eyes, blocking out the unwelcome self-portrait. Turning on the faucet, Tadashi ran his hands under the cold water before splashing it against his face. He wasn't sure why, only that it seemed like a sensible thing to do. The water was, at least, refreshing. For a few seconds, the small shock to his system cleared his mind.

In those two seconds, where Tadashi couldn't hear that silky, dark voice, he wondered what he was doing, acting like this. Being irrational, all out of sorts. And Hiro was getting the worst of it; Tadashi rarely lost his patience, and yet all he could think of the past few days was how often he'd been avoiding Hiro, how being in the presence of his little brother had become unbearable.

_Of course it's unbearable. _That voice was back. _Hiro's so annoying, why _should_ you put up with him? That kid's got you wrapped around his little finger and he knows it._

What? That couldn't be true. It didn't feel right. Surely Tadashi had a stronger backbone than that…

Sighing, Tadashi straightened, pushing the thought from his mind. He was too exhausted to dwell on it right now; he just wanted sleep.

Except sleep provided no respite.

It wasn't a lie he told Aunt Cass, when he said he had a nightmare. Maybe not the previous night, when he was tossing back and forth between dreamless twilight and staring up at the dark ceiling; but the visions of fire and smoke, of that malevolent moon-eyed specter still haunted Tadashi, and time only seemed to make them stronger.

But he couldn't resist the pull of sleep against his eyes. Upon leaving the bathroom, Tadashi slumped over to his room, collapsing on his unmade bed. His half, although small, was a mess; untidiness was usual for the regular student and aspiring inventor, but lately Tadashi could compete with Hiro for winner of the Was There a Tornado in Here? Trophy.

Tadashi's books were scattered all around the bed, none of his papers or work were actually on his desk where they belonged, because piled on his desk was laundry that still had to be folded away. How long had it been there? A day? A week? Tadashi couldn't remember. There were even more clothes, dirty, scattered around his bed.

Ugh, it was too much work. Maybe he'd do it later…

Pressing his face into the pillow, Tadashi once more closed his eyes. Maybe this time the light wouldn't bother him so much.

* * *

"Tadashi?"

The voice filtered in through Tadashi's groggy mind, and he groaned in response. Hiro. What did he want now?

"What?" He managed to get out from the pillow. Tadashi's voice was thick and muffled, and he barely had the energy to turn his head to speak clearer. Cracking open one eye, he spotted Hiro sticking his head out from behind the screen door.

"Me and Baymax are going out to the park," Hiro said, offering a hopeful, gap-toothed smile. "We were wondering if you wanted to come with?"

At first, Tadashi didn't know what Hiro was talking about. Him and Baymax? Oh, right. When Tadashi had brought Baymax home the previous week, Hiro had inadvertently activated the robot by stubbing his toe (as Tadashi had shoved Baymax into a corner of his room), and thus began a surprising friendship between man and machine.

Tadashi didn't mind — well, okay, he didn't have an opinion at all, he didn't really care much about anything lately — but he rationalized away any uncertainty it as giving a test run to Baymax with possibly the most trying person in Tadashi's life. If Baymax can survive Hiro, Baymax could survive anyone.

"No." But Tadashi didn't want to be a part of it. He didn't see the point. Tadashi closed his eye, blocking Hiro out just as his brother's smile began to fall. He couldn't even conceive getting out of bed, much less going all the way to the park. "Sorry. I'm too tired, Hiro."

"Tired? Tadashi, you've been sleeping all day."

All day? "What time is it?"

"Like, two in the afternoon." Hiro said, and when Tadashi opened his eyes again, he saw Hiro's expression had changed to a frown. He tilted his head, concerned. "Tadashi, are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled, limbs entirely lifeless beside him. There was a cramp in his leg, but Tadashi didn't move to ease even that.

"Well, Baymax says you haven't been exercising enough lately." Hiro pointed out.

_Is that all he says? _Tadashi thought to himself, sour. He was seriously starting to regret making a healthcare companion. Especially one that was so persistent. But it wasn't enough to pull Tadashi out of bed, and he struggled for a moment to find an excuse to appease Hiro. "I...I don't feel well."

That was true, for the most part. A more accurate statement would've been_ I don't feel like myself anymore. _But Tadashi didn't have the guts to say that to someone who wouldn't understand.

And why would he tell Hiro that? How could he let his brother think he was...weak?

_Can't take care of yourself, can't take care of Hiro. What would Mom and Dad think?_

"Oh," Hiro said, crestfallen, while Tadashi squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shove that voice away. But it was slippery, like oil, always seeping in, polluting everything it touched. "Are you sick? Because I can get Aunt Cass —"

"No!" Tadashi seized, every muscle in his body going tense at once. "No, I'm not — I'm fine. Just —"

"Well, if you're fine, then we should totally go outside!" Hiro said, completely missing the point. Getting Aunt Cass involved would just make it worse. There was no way Tadashi could stay in bed that way. She'd probably pull him out of bed by the ankles if she had to. "It's nice and sunny and warm — probably the last warm day of the year!

Tadashi couldn't stand the idea of sunlight, strangely. Of blistering warmth. Too much like fire.

"I can't."

"What? Why?" Hiro whined, a noise so grating it made Tadashi cringe. "

"I _can't_, Hiro."

"That's not a reason," Hiro pestered, in that way of his that was usually so endearing. It was the part of Hiro's genius, his curiosity, his desire to always have answers, no matter how impossible.

Right now, Hiro was just _being_ impossible. And Tadashi had lost all patience for it.

"Because I don't want to, that's why!" Tadashi finally snapped. His fist closed around the first thing he touched - his hat - and slung it behind him, full of anger and frustration. "Just leave me alone!"

It was impulse, that throw. He'd just thrown it in the general direction of Hiro's voice, but the resulting grunt said he'd landed the hit.

"Ow!" Hiro recoiled. It couldn't have been a hard hit, but when Tadashi dared peek over his shoulder, he saw Hiro covering his cheek, just under his left eye. There were tears in his eyes, but they did little to mask the sudden anger Hiro's face.

Hiro scowled, eyes blazing, and he threw the hat on the ground. "Fine, then! Be a jerk! It wouldn't be fun with you anyways."

With a bang, Hiro slammed the screen shut again. Tadashi just snorted at Hiro's retort, shaking his head before falling back on his bed. Good riddance.

(It never once occurred to him to say sorry.)

"_Are you injured_?" Baymax spoke from the background, an insufferably calm voice to the fight between brothers. "_On a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt?_"

"No, Baymax, I'm fine," came Hiro's voice, soft now, almost a whisper. Tadashi didn't intend to eavesdrop, but the voice carried, and perhaps a part of him would always be wired to listen for Hiro's voice, wherever he went. "A one, maybe. It was just a stupid hat. But…"

"_But what_?" Baymax asked. "_I do not detect any facial lacerations. Do you need alternative medical assistance_?"

"No, it's just Tadashi," came Hiro's mutter, making Tadashi wince. There were footsteps and the squeak of rubber on rubber, followed by the echo of feet on stairs. Their voices receded as they went downstairs. "I don't know what's wrong anymore…"

"_Does Tadashi require medical assistance as well?_"

"No, Baymax," Hiro said, his voice getting fainter and fainter. "I don't think this is the kind of thing you can fix…"

What did that mean? Was Tadashi broken? Did Hiro think he could be fixed? Tadashi wanted to get up, go after him, demand to know what Hiro meant by that. It wasn't Tadashi's fault he was feeling this way, why take it out on him?

Didn't Hiro understand that? Tadashi had no idea what was wrong, either. But how could he explain that without sounding like an idiot? The very concept scared Tadashi; he didn't want to think of how Hiro might react.

He didn't want to scare Hiro. Tadashi didn't want to lose him, too.

_It's all your fault. _That voice said._ Callaghan. Your parents. Gone, because of you. The people you care about only get hurt. It's better that Hiro and the others leave you now, before they end up like the rest, too._

Tadashi gritted his teeth, slamming a fist into his pillow. He wanted the voice to shut up, he wanted to hurt it, but how could he hurt was what a part of him?

And the voice was telling the truth. Tadashi couldn't bear the thought of Hiro getting hurt or — or worse, because of him.

Maybe he _was_ better off this way.

Alone.

_You don't deserve Hiro_. That voice whispered. _You're not good enough for him._

_You're bad luck, Tadashi Hamada._

_Everything you touch turns to ash._

* * *

**This feels like a really lousy chapter to post after a hiatus, but I'm hoping the next chapter will be more exciting. It will have Hiro and bot fighting :) This one is sorta filler, but events here will have an effect later. This is essentially the lowest point for Tadashi, which is a nice culmination for ten chapters. **

**I consider this the lowest point because this is as OOC as he's gonna get. To me, Tadashi seems like the kind of guy who's just really patience, even with a handful like Hiro — and even if he _does_ lose his patience, Tadashi would still never react with anger or violence. He just isn't that kind of guy. And here, where he loses it (a hat throw, but still, he hurts Hiro), he unintentionally hurts Hiro, and that's the point where Tadashi isn't Tadashi anymore. At least, that's my interpretation of his character.**

**(Also, some fire/burning motifs because that's going to be a thing now.)**

**On the bright side, it's uphill from here :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**So I've made some significant changes to the fic in previous chapters (1-9) if that gives me an excuse for not updating in a while ;; A few characters have been removed, while I've changed the circumstances of Tadashi's survival and what he saw, which are pretty plot-important. I'd really appreciate if you went back and read them again, if you haven't already, otherwise further chapters from this point on will be confusing.**

**Also, a new OC here, but not one too plot-important. Just serves to flesh out the criminal underground of San Fransokyo.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

Hiro kicked a rock.

It skittered down the sidewalk. Hiro kept at his leisurely pace, hands stuffed in his pockets, shoulders hunched. He kicked the rock again when he caught up with it, and huffed to himself.

"_Hiro_," Baymax, said, squeaking slightly in Hiro's wake. Although the bot had a quick pace and was nearly seven feet tall, his legs were too short to go very far. "_I am detecting low heart rate but high brain activity. What is appears to be the problem?_"

"Nothing's wrong," Hiro said, but his tone was too light. His cheek still stung a little from where Tadashi had thrown his hat — it didn't necessarily hurt, but Hiro couldn't get it out of his head. "I'm just...thinking."

"Oh." Baymax said. After a pause, he asked, "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I…" Hiro started, then shook his head. His hair hung low in his eyes, and he ran a hand threw it, trying to find the right words that could explain the million trains of thought running through his mind. He always thinking of something, his head filled with the too much information, but it wasn't until lately did it feel like a problem to Hiro. Not since high school has he felt this much stress.

Hiro liked Baymax, he really did. Maybe he even trusted the bot. But Hiro wasn't sure if Baymax would understand. From what he could tell so far, Baymax wasn't equipped to handle emotional issues. Or whatever this was happening in Hiro's life. "...No, never mind. It's nothing."

The sun was setting over the Golden Gate Bridge. Hiro could see it from here, at the edge of the park. The fierce glow of the sun reflected off the russet metal, turning blood red against the purple sky. It cast a warm filter over the city, a similar orange glow on the leaves of trees and along the grass and glass windows. There were still kids and families playing on the grass, but they were clearing out as the evening drew into twilight. Hiro saw two boys, maybe brothers, playing one last game of catch, and watching them made something inside Hiro's chest pinch. Looking away, Hiro hugged his arms and turned to face Baymax, his head bowed; even though Baymax's face consisted only of two black dots and a straight line, Hiro felt too vulnerable meeting the bot eye-to-eye.

They had spent the whole afternoon here. Hiro had taught Baymax all about baseball, San Fransokyo's favorite sport. Hiro had quickly learned, however, that Baymax had slow reflexes, and his soft was a bad target. Any balls Baymax couldn't catch (that is, _all_ of them) only bounced off his inflated belly, and back at Hiro's head at twice its speed.

His elbows were still a little sore from having to throw himself on the ground to avoid said ballistic baseballs. Hiro had quickly decided that showing Baymax the swings was a better idea. "I — I had a lot of fun today, though. I haven't played baseball in forever. I used to play it all the time with Ta —"

Hiro cut himself off, sucking in a breath and making a face. Baymax said nothing, only tilted his head slightly to the left. The action was both simple and infuriating — what was Baymax thinking right now? Did he understand what Hiro almost said? Hiro shook his head to clear it. "Well, whatever. Now we gotta find something else to do."

"_Perhaps it is time to return home_." Baymax offered helpfully. "_You should first contact Aunt Cass, so she knows you are well. She told me she likes regular updates. Especially when it comes to you, although she failed to mention why._"

"Ah," Hiro glanced away, then waved the thought away with his hand. "Don't worry about. Aunt Cass just gets overprotective, you know? I can take care of myself."

"_It is getting dark_," Baymax said, his head tilting up towards the sky. He blinked once, then looked back at Hiro. "_Crimes are committed at a much higher rate during nighttime. It seems risky to stay outside_."

"What? Nooo," Hiro scoffed. He found it easier to lie, put on his usual bravado, then voice his actual thoughts. Besides, he wanted Baymax to think he was cool. "Are you kidding? Nighttime is when all the _fun_ stuff happens."

"_But I thought we were having fun earlier,_" Baymax said. He carried the duffle bag filled with sports equipment, and held it up to Hiro. "_Is there something more fun than baseball that only occurs after the sun sets_?"

"Oh, yeah," a cheeky grin grew across Hiro's face as an idea occurred to him. He reached for the bag, sticking an arm inside before pulling out a small black bot with a yellow face painted on its head. Its simple design betrayed its complex controls and unique abilities. "Baymax, meet Megabot. I use him for bot-fighting."

"_Bot-fighting_?" Baymax said, his voice rising in surprise. "_Isn't that illegal_?"

"Only if you bet money on it." Hiro said, tapping Baymax's round belly, before darting around his berth. "But it's fun either way. Come on, I know one happening tonight. We can make it if we head over now."

(●—●)

Okay, so maybe the thought hadn't _just_ occurred to Hiro. Honestly, he'd been tempted to go back to bot-fighting ever since Tadashi called him stupid. He'd only held back because of the apology. The same could not be said about the little hat incident, and Tadashi's apparent absence at that moment. And tonight, Hiro was feeling particularly spiteful.

Hiro knew the streets of San Fransokyo like the back of his hand, and led the way to the bot-fight as night drew in over their heads. The street lamps flicked on and the city turned black and purple, loud music filling the air as Hiro tread into a block full of nightclubs and bars.

San Fransokyo's criminal world was the neon, smokey underbelly of the city's equally colorful, but much less dangerous regular world. You could hear the shrieking tires of street racers, the yelling and glass-breaking of a bar fight. To Hiro's left were some older teens in black clothes and heavy make-up trading dollars, and to his right sat a couple of old men on plastic crates, arguing over a game of Mahjong. The smell of alcohol and burnt rubber filled the air as Hiro ducked into an alleyway; he tried to ignore the looks he got for dragging Baymax along with him. It was annoying enough that Baymax had to stop at every person smoking, as if they didn't already know the dangers of nicotine addiction and lung cancer, and finally dragged the bot to their intended destination.

This bot-ring was behind a seedy pizza restaurant and a laundromat, the smells of cheese and bread mixing oddly with bleach and soap. It was already crowded in the alleyway, and Hiro had to push and wriggle his way past the bodies — meanwhile, people parted at the very sight of Baymax, who just blinked benignly at them as he shuffled past.

"Whoa, there," A hand suddenly appeared at Hiro's chest, stopping him right before he reached the clearing around the bot-fighting ring. Hiro looked up, met the squinty face of a man with ruddy cheeks and mutton chops. The man fixed Hiro with a suspicious look, jabbed a finger behind him at Baymax. "That thing's not allowed in the ring, kid. Rules are rules. Small bots only."

"What?" Hiro hadn't even considered Baymax, and quickly said, "Wait, no, I'm not using him! _This_ is my bot I'm fighting with," He held up Megabot, which flopped limply in his hand.

Mutton Chops paused and stepped back. He crossed his arms and raised one skeptical eyebrow, clearly unimpressed with the little bot. "Uh-huh. Then what's the big marshmallow-looking one doing here?"

"Uh," Hiro glanced behind him, at Baymax's clean, white cuddly appearance, before his eyes traveled back to Mutton Chops. He pulled a strained smile. "He's my, um, bodyguard."

Mutton Chops took a second look at Baymax, then back at Hiro before tossing his head back and snorting, "Heh. Yeah, you're gonna need one, kid. Fine, the big one can stay, so long as he doesn't cause any trouble."

Hiro let out a long sigh of relief, then put on a cool smile and strode right on past Mutton Chops. He waved a hand over his head as he jogged onward, calling, "Come on, Baymax!"

The doors ahead were closed, locked from the inside; a muffled roar came through the doors, a sound that went up a decibel as a woman with an eye-patch peeked out, scowling down at Hiro. "You again? Kid, you're gonna get us all arrested."

"What? But I'm here to fight!" he protested, holding up Mega-Bot again as if to prove himself. How many times did he have to prove himself?

"Just so your big brother can save you again when you bite off more than you can chew?" the woman retorted.

Hiro groaned, hanging his head. Why was it that no one could take him seriously? It was one thing to be underestimated, but it was a pain in the butt just to get his foot in the door— literally, in this case. "I don't need to be _saved_, and not by my brother! Besides, he's too busy being a jerk, so you don't have to worry about him ruining the party or anything."

"Really?" the woman looked mildly surprised, then pursed her lips, glancing to the side before holding up one finger. "Wait one second," before ducking her head back and slamming the door shut. Hiro waited, watching the door in bewilderment as he listened to hushed whispers on the other side. He raised his hand to knock again, but the door swung open before he could do so, and the one-eyed woman allowed him inside with a sweep of her arm. Whoever she had been talking to earlier had disappeared into the surging mass of people inside. "Well, come on in, then. Try not to get stampeded or anything."

The raucous noise from inside the doors nearly blew Hiro off his feet, and he stumbled back into Baymax before taking a cautious look inside. The bot-fighting ring was held inside a derelict gym, with the boxing ring retrofitted to contain the bots and their masters. Spectators lined the sides of the square, pressing their faces against the ropes and cheering on their favorites, pumping fists and pointing fingers as gears whirred and metal screeched against metal.

Hiro took a hesitant step inside; he'd never been here before, and he was doubly self-conscious with Baymax in tow - the one-eyed woman hadn't commented on him, but Hiro noticed the way she looked the medbot up and down with a suspicious look, but perhaps deemed him too unthreatening to be considered a valid contender in bot-fighting.

As it was, he didn't have to worry about her, as Baymax drew enough attention from everyone nearby. Baymax sort of just _plowed_ through the thick crowd, offering apologies as various bodies and faces bounced off his balloon belly. Meanwhile, Hiro had to duck and weave under arms and elbows, taking care not to get decked in the face as he made his way to the center of the cavernous room. The air was stuffy, hot, and reeked of sweat and grease, and Hiro had to measure his breathing to keep from panicking. He was always nervous before a fight, and had yet to conquer his nerves in hostile situations.

The current fight was a heated one — between two opponents Hiro didn't recognize. One, a teenager, older than him, maybe college: a girl with bright orange hair and a cowboy hat. Her bot took the form of a bull, with wide, sturdy feet and horns made of twisted metal. It even had steam coming out of its nose.

The other Hiro couldn't tell, but he could guess male from the large and burly physique. The man was garbed in a leather jacket and various spiked appendages, along with a fearsome mask painted black with a skull; unusual but not unheard of in bot-fighting. Some masters like to keep up an imposing appearance, to intimidate lesser foes. With a jolt, Hiro realized he _did_ recognize this guy; this looked like the same guy that cut him and Tadashi off leaving SFIT on their first day of school. But there was no way he was here now…

Hiro's thoughts of biker gangs crossing into bot-fighting got distracted by the current fight at hand. The biker's bot had an engine that roared like a Harley, making Hiro jump at the first instance of it, and its tires spun out before charging at the bull. The bull dodged and swept its head, horns hooking on the undercarriage of the biker's bot, flipping it.

A mighty roar erupted as the wheeled bot fell on its back, a death sentence for anything without appendages to pick itself up with — a roar that soon died, however, as another bang of that mighty engine sent the bot back into the air in a cloud of exhaust, righting itself with an expert flip, and more cheering erupted from the stands, enticed by this good show.

Back and forth the two bots went, Hiro watching in admiring rapture as they traded blows on after the other. The cowgirl had sweat beading on her brow from concentration, while the biker's shoulders had gotten all hunched up as he gripped his controller tighter — but who would win?

Hiro didn't even think of placing any bets until it was too late. The end came almost out of nowhere; the wheeled bot finally managed to land a direct hit on the bull, t-boning it like a freight train and knocking the animal-bot straight out of the arena. As the cowgirl cried in defeat, the bull soared into the crowd, conking a spectator on the head, and both went down in one long, sad moo.

The gym exploded into jeers and shouting, cash was exchanged, and the cowgirl shoved off the stage in a defeated slump. The biker got up and threw his fists in the air, shouting: "Yeah! Yeah!"

The one-eyed woman, dressed in a short-red kimono, skated onto the ring on rollerblades, circling around the ring as she declared, "Undefeated champion, Skullface and his bot, Monster-Rig, wins again! Who dares challenge the master of the ring?"

_Here's my chance!_ With a grin, Hiro reached up to grab the ropes of the ring to pull himself in, but found that he was too short to reach. He jumped up, trying to grab it, but found it just too high. "Oh, come on!"

Then, before he could think of something else, two white hands came around his middle, and hefted Hiro into the air. He let out a startled yelp, looking down to see Baymax blinking curiously at him. Immediately, he was spotted by the one-eyed woman and Skullface, who stared at him for a moment before Hiro remembered himself and waved his arm higher into the air. His voice was a little squeaky as he proclaimed: "Uh, me! I-I challenge Skullface! Yeah!"

The one-eyed woman just smirked and said, "This isn't Kiddies Night, sorry. Maybe next time."

"Ah, let him play," Skullface snorted, cracking his knuckles. "I need the practice."

"Are you sure?" the one-eyed woman threw him a startled look, glancing back at Hiro apprehensively. "The kid's not exactly in your league—"

"I said, let him play!"

The one-eyed woman scowled, shaking her head before skating off the stage, muttering under her breath: "Your funeral."

Skullface, who either didn't hear this or was too dumb to listen, just faced Hiro, sitting down cross-legged as was custom. Hiro followed suit, trying hard not to smile and reveal his confidence too soon. He'd gotten used to this game plan — of playing up his youth — and was prepared for yet another night of raking it in.

"Prepare to get slaughtered," Skullface cackled as Monster-Rig whirred to life. It's ugly appearance, with exposed black gears and large bolts and sauntering all over the place. As it was, the bot roared with all the ferocity it needed, as opposed to the silent, ragdoll form of Mega-Bot, which flopped at Hiro's feet, appearing lifeless. Hiro couldn't see Skullface's, well, face, but he could tell the man was probably grinning ear-to-ear.

The one-eyed woman returned to center-stage, wielding the umbrella to start the match. Flared open, it shielded the two opponents from one another as she declared, "Two bots enter! One bot leaves! Fighters ready?"

She whipped back the umbrella — for a split second, Hiro saw the sharp edges of what looked like metal in its spokes, gleaming in the yellow lights overhead.

Hiro squinted, distracted by this. Were those…_blades?_

"FIGHT!"

The sudden growl of Skullface's mini-monster-machine had Hiro jolting back to the present, scrambling for his controller as Skullface's bot came barreling towards his.

He managed to get Mega-Bot out of the way just in time. The Monster-Rig shot past before making a sharp turn just at the edge of the ring, barely avoiding getting Skullface disqualified for going out of bounds. If only it were so easy.

The Monster-Rig fishtailed, drifting just at the edge of the chalk outline, before screeching back into the center of the ring, where Mega-Bot stood.

Skullface was clearly a much better bot-fighter than Hiro had guessed. Arrogant, sure, but he clearly know how to create a hardy bot, which Hiro learned the hard way. When the Monster-Rig returned to Mega-Bot to continue the fight, Mega-Bot jumped into the air, landing on top of the Rig.

Mega-Bots strength mostly came from magnetism, and there wasn't much that got in the way of that. Except, of course, for the impressively welded-together pieces of the Monster-Rig — what it lacked in beauty it made up for in design because this thing did. Not. Want. To. _Break_.

Mega-Bot struggled for three horrendously long seconds as it tried to rip, squeeze, and tear off the exposed gears and frame of the Monster-Rig — before being thrown off by an electric zap.

Hiro watched in a brief moment of surprise as Mega-Bot fell to pieces on the floor of the ring. So _there's_ the Monster-Rig's defense mechanism. He wondered what its little secret was.

Cheering erupted around the ring at this supposed victory. Skullface had already raised his arms to jeer, but that was his mistake. Without both hands on his controller, he was ill-prepared when Hiro pulled on his controller, revealing its full extension, and Mega-Bot popped back together again — its tennis-ball-yellow smiley-face switching to an angry red evil-smiley-face.

Skullface only had the chance to say "Huh?" before imminent destruction came crashing down on his head.

As Mega-Bot launched itself at the Monster-Rig for its final attack, Hiro couldn't help but smirk. He hunched over his controller, expertly handling Mega-Bot as he sought out Monster-Rig's main weakness: its undercarriage.

Like most tank-based weaponry, Monster-Rig's belly was not as powerfully constructed as the rest of it.

Flipping over the Monster-Rig with one flick of the arm, Mega-Bot was on top of the other machine in a second. Mega-Bot proceeded to wrap itself around each tire, popping them off one by one with four loud _Pops! _

Skullface started making panicked noises, trying to right his vehicle with desperate handling of his controller, but it was already too late. Wheels gone, the Monster-Rig was already useless, and rendered absolutely dead when Mega-Bot wrapped itself around the main bar of the chassey and snapped it off.

Just like that, the entire Rig fell to pieces on the ring. Skullface dropped his arms in defeat, his mask slipped a little to reveal wide eyes, while Hiro just sat back with his arms crossed, a smug grin on his face.

The one-eyed woman rolled over to him with the tray of rolled-up wads. She looked tight-lipped, and did not sound enthused when she announced, "It seems we have a winner, folks."

As Hiro collected his winnings (and regretting he hadn't pulled a con by dueling Skullface in two rounds instead of one, which would've doubled his cash), Skullface raged on his side of ring, standing up and stomping on what was left of his machine, kicking the pieces all over the place.

"When she said I wasn't in your league," Hiro called out to him, standing up with Mega-Bot in one hand and at least two-hundred dollars of cash in the other. "She meant you weren't in _mine_."

To the stunned crowd, he raised Mega-Bot in the air and shouted, "Anyone up for another match?"

No one said anything. It took Hiro a moment to come down from his victorious high, to clear his head and realize that the entire building had gone oddly silently. There wasn't even a cough to be heard, and everyone seemed to be frozen, eyes wide and staring in awe.

Only it wasn't awe, Hiro realized, dropping his arm at the lack of response. It was fear.

But no one would fear a fourteen-year-old kid. Not even one as good at bot-fighting as him.

That's when Hiro felt a shadow drop over him, and saw the eyes of the audience rise to something over his head.

They weren't looking at Hiro.

In the crowd, Baymax stood out like a white marshmallow amid a sea of really ugly fish. His unchanging face held no warning for Hiro, but he did raise a single finger. Baymax's single, bright monotone voice echoed in the dim room. "Uh-oh."

Something bumped against Hiro's back, startling him. He jumped away, spinning around to face a mountain of a man, his face disguised in shadow underneath a wide-brimmed hat. Heavy cologne wafted off of him, making Hiro grimace and raise a hand to his face.

It wasn't until the man spoke did Hiro realize who he was dealing with.

"Another fight with _Zero_?" said the low, booming voice that shook Hiro from head to toe. "I can't wait."

"Uh —" Hiro stumbled back at the sight of Mr. Yama. He looked nothing like the man Hiro beat at bot-fighting back in April. Instead of an oversized purple track suit, he was wearing a white coat with fur fringe and a fedora, showing off huge leather shoes and a gold-and-diamond watch that was almost as big as Hiro's head. He looked like he just walked off the set of an old mobster movie.

Whoa. Mr. Yama leveled up.

Only now Hiro realized how bad this was. He was about to get pwned by Mr. Yama.

"Hey, Yama!" Hiro said with a forced smile, giving a little wave as he quickly scanned the area for an exit. "Long time no see! How's it going?"

But to his dismay, Hiro discovered that Mr. Yama had come with back-up; the very biker gang that he had seen earlier, and one that Skullface seemed to be a part of. They surrounded the ring, the exits, and more seemed to be waiting in the crowd.

There was no way Hiro was getting out of this one in one piece.

Mr. Yama loomed over him as Hiro continued to retreat, only to come to a dead stop when his back hit the ropes. Still, Hiro kept talking, because he just did not know when to shut up. "Seems like, uh, like you've been doing well for yourself, huh? I-is that a new coat? Because, uh, _looking good, man —_"

"Enough talk!" Mr. Yama ordered, stomping his foot, and Hiro silenced immediately. He flinched when Mr. Yama pointed a meaty finger at him. "I have been dreaming of the day of getting my revenge on the _mere child_ who cheated, and made me a fool in front of everyone! And who is the fool now?"

"Cheating? Hey, I didn't cheat," Hiro complained, jerking a thumb at himself, his fear abating for a moment because of his own pride. "Maybe its _you_ who shuld find a new hobby, pal —"

"Oh, but I have, Zero," Mr. Yama grinned at the look on Hiro's face, reveling in his hatred of the bad nickname. He held out his arms, gesturing the biker gang. "You see my friends here? I'm in charge in them. In fact, I'm in charge of San Fransokyo's entire underground scene. Every bot-fighting ring is mine now."

"What?" Hiro couldn't believe it. How could some wannabe-tough-guy with a half-rate bot become some sort of criminal kingpin in a matter of months? "There's _no way_ —"

"Oh, but there is," Mr. Yama said, his eyes lighting up with something Hiro had never seen before. A sort of malice only depicted in movies. "Thanks to _Yokai_."

Hiro blinked. "Who?"

"You haven't heard of him?" Mr. Yama asked, as Hiro heard the sound of movement behind him. When he glanced over his shoulder, he was surprised to find the warehouse being evacuated, the floor almost entirely empty aside from the bikers — and Baymax — apparently frightened by the very name of this person. "Yokai is another friend, and here is a little secret: he does not appreciate little children meddling in his affairs. You steal from Mr. Yama, you steal from him. You do not want to cross Mr. Yama, and you _especially_ do not cross Yokai. And Mr. Yama is far kinder."

Hiro stared at Mr. Yama for one long second — then ran.

He only made it three steps before he was caught by the hood. He cried out as the hem of his shirt dug into his throat as he was yanked back, sent sprawling to the floor by Mr. Yama, who just guffawed. "You think you can run from Mr. Yama? Doesn't the great Zero want another fight?"

Hiro picked himself up, wincing. The money he'd one fluttered in the air, and Mega-Bot lay scattered in pieces across the ring. He only had one chance to take what he could, so he reached for Mega-Bot. He was shaking now, after being so roughly man-handled. "A f-fight, huh? Well, I don't see _Little Yama_ anywhere. How are you gonna fight without a bot?"

"Oh, Mr. Yama does not need a bot to fight," he chuckled, shrugging off his fur-lined coat, which a henchman collected before it could touch the dirty floor. He cracked his knuckles in his palms, grinning. "Mr. Yama prefers to use his fists."

"…Baymax!" Hiro called, his voice rising in panic as he realized that this situation had spiraled far out of his control. Man, was he really wishing for Tadashi to come save him right now. The irony of it all.

Unfortunately, his second choice for a savior was clearly not up to par. "_I have been mildly inconvenienced_." Came Baymax's reply to his right, and Hiro looked over to see the white medbot surrounded by Mr. Yama's men, all wielding some very sharp and pointy objects.

Baymax stood still amongst them, his head turning slowly as if to appraise each one. "_They appear to be hostile. Would a hug calm you down?"_

"What?" one of the bikers demanded, confused, before two white, puffy arms wrapped around him. "Wait, hey — oof!"

The man was suddenly being engulfed in a reluctant marshmallow hug, struggling in vain against Baymax's unsuspected strength. The other bikers stepped back, bewildered by this surprise attack.

Unfortunately, it was not enough. One biker leaned forward, slashing with his arm, and tearing a hole straight through Baymax's side. Hiro could only cry out helplessly as his only friend and ally deflated right before his eyes, flopping to the ground in a massive heap.

"Your stupid balloon machine can't help you now!" Mr. Yama sneered, lunging for Hiro.

Luckily, although smaller, Hiro was far quicker, and managed to scramble out of the way with a terrified yelp as Mr. Yama slammed to the ground in a sumo-flop that shook the floor.

Hiro stumbled before turning on his heel, bending down to pick up his money and stuff them in his pocket. Then, skipping up and over Mr. Yama's back (and narrowly dodging the hand that snatched for his ankle). Hiro launched himself over the ropes to what remained of Baymax.

"_I appear to have lost all air pressure_," Baymax remarked matter-of-factly. "_I cannot function to my full capacity without proper inflation. Requesting immediate repairs."_

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Hiro was momentarily relieved to learn that deflation didn't mean the end to Baymax, but it was taking him too long to pull together the plastic remains.

He could already hear Mr. Yama getting up, the bikers reforming. Hiro was still in the warehouse, still trapped inside. His arms were completely full of Baymax, the bot's head resting under his chin, as he turned around to face Mr. Yama once more.

"And where will you go, Zero?" Mr. Yama demanded, as Hiro shifted nervously on his feet, still desperately searching for an exit. This couldn't be it. It just couldn't. "There is no way out, and no pesky older brother to save you this time! Let's see you fight your way out of this one!"

A thug approached Hiro, reaching out shoved Hiro, sending him falling on his back, Baymax spilling everywhere. His elbows took the brunt of the impact, skidding painfully against the gravel.

Hiro cried out, tears springing into his eyes. Oh no, don't start crying, please not now. It was bad enough he was in trouble, he didn't want to embarrass himself on top of it all. He was only shoved, as if by a playground bully. It probably wasn't even that bad, but here he was, ready to cry because he didn't know what else to do.

If he cried, he was just another stupid kid, in over his head.

Proving Mr. Yama right.

The thug who shoved him now came up, sneering as he sensed Hiro about to break. There had to be a certain spot in hell for those who beat up kids with no remorse, but that thought didn't help him now.

The thug raised his boot, ready to strike. Hiro closed his eyes, steeling himself for impact.

It never came.

The grip on his shirt snapped away. Hiro froze, refusing to move. His first thought was that the thug was playing with him, trying to scare Hiro before finishing the job.

But the pause lasted too long - and now that Hiro thought about it, things had gotten strangely quiet. Again.

Breathing loud, blood pounding in his ears, Hiro blinked and looked up.

The thug who had been standing over Hiro, ready to beat him down, was now lying flat on his back, unconscious. In his place now stood a slim figure in white, wielding a silver staff that crackled with electricity, a painted animal mask covering their face.

Hiro couldn't quite comprehend what he saw. Was this...a _ninja_?


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

This newcomer, who had seemingly appeared out of thin air, stood over Hiro, one metal boot on either side of him.

Nobody moved.

Mr. Yama, overseeing the scene on his quasi-throne of the boxing ring, scowled at the sight of this spry challenger. Jabbing a finger at them, he shouted, "Well, what're you standing around for? Get them!"

The air was still for only a second longer. At Mr. Yama's order, chaos erupted.

Hiro had been surrounded on all sides by mooks. One of these men now decided to attack, thinking that he had the advantage because the ninja's back was to him.

He would be wrong.

The ninja's head twitched at the movement, almost seeming to sense the action although they couldn't see it. Then they pivoted on their heel, the end of the staff coming up and striking the gangbanger in the center of his chest, with such a force that the man was thrown back, slamming into a wall behind him and slouching to the ground.

Hiro had hoped this utterly nonchalant dispatching of a man twice the ninja's size would have deterred further aggression. But Hiro would be disappointed (and terrified).

Three more bikers stepped out and attacked the ninja at once. The ninja jumped up, slamming their staff to the ground and lifting themselves up to slam both heels into the faces of two of the bikers, before dropping down again, swinging the staff over her shoulder and bring it around to strike the third mook across the legs, knocking him down.

As the ninja continued to fight, all roundhouse kicks, karate chops, cool staff swipes and arcs of electricity, Hiro slowly pulled himself up. He noticed how the mask the ninja wore was kabuki in design, white porcelain with red and black paint, resembling a fox with its long ears and narrow snout. Underneath it, he couldn't see a thing. Was there even a person underneath there?

It was a tough call. The way the ninja moved spoke of an almost programmed skill, and there was something to be said about the fact that the ninja seemed entirely immune to the effect of their own staff. Hiro, realizing he might need proof of this later, took out his phone, and quickly took pictures of the ninja, trying to get them as clear as possible - not easy, when the ninja was moving so fast they were little more than a white blur to Hiro's eyes.

Along with that, Hiro noticed how the ninja's boots seemed to be specially made, some technological factor to them that Hiro couldn't discern. He noticed that the ninja's gloves were designed similarly, along with the staff. Was it for protection? Maybe that's why the electricity couldn't affect them.

In less than twenty seconds, the floor was littered with unconscious mooks. Mr. Yama gaped at the scene from his vantage point; apparently realizing he was on the losing team, he stepped back, grabbed his fur-lined coat from a shell-shocked mook, before making a break for it.

Hiro could only watch in amazement as the remaining bikers retreated with him, letting out wails of defeat before bolting out of the warehouse. The fox-faced ninja came to a stop, watching them leave with unreadable blank eyes, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Then he turned her head to Hiro.

There was a heavy pause as the two just stared at each other, not entirely sure what to do. Hiro was extremely aware of all the bodies around them, groaning and mumbling in pain. Yet Hiro's heart pounded, not with fear, but _excitement. _

With an unrestrained grin, he threw up his arms, crowing: "That was so totally wicked!"

The ninja stepped closer, gingerly, on the balls of their feet. They seemed wary for some reason, stepping around Hiro like a fearful animal. Hiro watched them, curious. What were they afraid of? These thoughts didn't conflict with the other millions of questions he wanted to ask: "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

The mask tilted towards him, black eyes expressionless. There was something about the mask that was unsettling, although Hiro didn't let it get in the way of his actions when the ninja decided to get a little closer, as if they had decided Hiro non-threatening. He smiled nervously as the ninja drew closer, dropping to a crouch. It reminded him of a cat, finally getting used to his presence. And there was nothing better than a cat learning to trust you.

Although he - because now that Hiro had a good look at them without all the fast moving and high kicks, the figure was definitely male, with broad shoulders and narrow waist - had ostensibly saved their lives, there was no explanation as to _why_. And his utter silence made Hiro wonder if the ninja was even planning to help them at all. Where had he even come from?

The fox-faced ninja reached out with one tentative hand. Hiro, fascinated, raised his own hand, as if to show his friendliness. The ninja stepped closer, their fingers almost touching…

Before he hand snapped down and plucked the wad of cash from Hiro's pocket.

"What? Hey, that's mine!" Hiro gasped, but it was too late. The fox darted back as Hiro lunged for his money, and he missed, falling forward on his stomach.

The fox, huge wad of cash in his fist, flicked the stick behind him as he bowed to them. Then, in one mighty leap, he launched himself into the rafters, then up towards an open ceiling window.

In a flash of color, the fox was gone.

"_We have been mugged," _Baymax reported behind him, much to Hiro's annoyance. "_We should inform the authorities immediately."_

"There's no point, he's long gone. They'll never catch him," Hiro picked himself up, huffing. Under his breath, he muttered, "Not cool, fox dude. Not cool at all."

Turning around, he bent down to collect Baymax and his fallen Mega-Bot. At least the fox hadn't taken _that_.

At the sight of Baymax's deflated body, Hiro's ire abated, and a wave of guilt washed over him as he bent down to pick him up. "Sorry, Baymax. I never meant for this to happen."

"_It is as I predicted_," Baymax said brightly. "_Criminal activity tends to occur at night. We are merely another statistic._"

"Way to look on the bright side, buddy," Hiro sighed, managing a small smile, as he hefted up the medbot into his arms. Although there was a lot of material involved, Baymax was very light, thanks to Tadashi's hard work.

Oh, man. Tadashi.

Hiro winced at the very thought of bringing Baymax home to his creator in this state. As he carried Baymax out of the warehouse, he said, "Look Baymax, you can't tell Tadashi about this, okay? He'd kill me."

"_He wouldn't kill you, Hiro. Killing is a major felony in all fifty states,_" Baymax said, and before Hiro could roll his eyes, he added, "_And Tadashi would never hurt you._"

Hiro just scoffed. "Yeah, and how would you know?"

"_Because Tadashi loves you very much_."

Coming to a stop under a streetlight, Hiro frowned up at the sky. High up, the flying wind turbines glowed with their multi-colored lights, like big round neon koi in the clouds.

"Not the Tadashi I know."

"_I do not understand. Tadashi is here._"

Hiro frowned at Baymax. "No, he isn't. Not anymore. Not…not since the fire."

"_But he was unharmed_."

"I guess. I know something happened. I just don't know what." Hiro sighed, as a taxi pulled up to them along the curb. Luckily, the fox hadn't taken _all _of his winnings, and he still had enough for a ride home. "Just promise me you'll be quiet when we get home, okay? I'll fix you up, but Tadashi can't know."

"_Okay_." Baymax said, his tone lowering slightly.

Sensing doubt, Hiro urged, "_Promise_ me, Baymax."

"_I promise_."

(●—●)

It was about 8 o' clock and completely dark when Hiro finally got home. Cass was hosting the book club and was too distracted to notice when he snuck in through the back door. She wasn't the hard part, though.

Hiro, taking care as he crept up two flights of stairs, peered around the corner of the top landing, wondering if Tadashi was still up. He couldn't tell, but the room was dark, and the folding screen blocked entrance. That seemed to be how it always was these days. Hiro managed to set Baymax on his charging station without interruption, and quickly patched him up with tape and glue as he reflated.

It went smoothly. Too smoothly. As Hiro examined his handiwork, sitting in his desk chair, he felt incredibly guilty, even more so that he wasn't caught. Wait, did he _want_ to get caught? Did he want to be in trouble, for Tadashi to get mad at him? Why?

"Tadashi?" Hiro called, his voice wary, a little soft. Then, he said a little louder, "Tadashi? You there?"

The sound of weight shifting on a mattress. No response.

Hiro slumped in his chair. Well, _any _reaction would be better than no reaction at all. Tadashi was here, and actively ignoring him.

What a wonderful feeling.

Why wouldn't Tadashi talk to him? What was going on? Hiro wasn't ignorant of the hostility Tadashi was exhibiting lately. The frustration and anger. At what? At Hiro? What had Hiro done wrong?

Okay, wrong question. What had Hiro done wrong that was _so bad_ that had Tadashi like this? Hiro was certain he would've said sorry, would've apologized and _meant it _if it affected Tadashi this way. It didn't feel like it was just the fire anymore. It felt like something more, and Hiro didn't know how to fix it.

Kicking his trash-bin and knocking it over, Hiro didn't care for the mess it made as he hopped off his chair and stormed downstairs, then outside. The Hamadas had a small roof garden on the second floor, just under Hiro's bedroom window. The leafy green plants were a practical jungle in the summer time, the tomato plants and flowers bringing just enough color to be enjoyable. But now, they were dead and dying, brittle and brown, breaking whenever something so much as glanced by them.

Hiro shuffled through, coming to the edge and sitting on the rim, where the wall met shingles. He wasn't allowed to sit on the roof like this, but it wasn't like Tadashi was here to tell him no, was it?

The city was beautiful at night, a nasty disguise for what lay underneath. Until today, Hiro had never really considered the kind of criminal organizations San Fransokyo had hidden beneath the surface. He never thought himself to be a victim, or target, to them.

Now? Mr. Yama, regular mob boss, wanted revenge. He had back-up from a freaking _motorcycle_ gang and some dude named _Yokai,_ whoever that was.

_Whatever_ that was. Hiro wasn't an idiot. _Yokai _was a Japanese demon spirit, and whoever decided on that for a name was not someone Hiro would be friends with.

He wondered if the police knew about this _Yokai. _What did he want? Why was he helping Mr. Yama become so powerful? Who would want to make San Fransokyo more dangerous?

It was a concerning thought. Hiro couldn't believe it, but maybe Aunt Cass was right. Maybe the police weren't ready for this. Not just with Mr. Yama and the motorcycle gang, but that ninja-thief as well, who was armed with some impressive gadgets that the SFPD certainly didn't have.

San Fransokyo was the city of innovation, the city of change, the city of geniuses. Nobody thought to mention that some of them were _criminals_.

But what was there to do? Hiro couldn't do anything. He was just a stupid kid who cried when someone pushed him too hard.

"_Hiro_."

Hiro jumped a little, startled by Baymax, who he hadn't heard approach. Glancing over his shoulder, he looked around, saw Baymax in the doorway of the garden, before squeezing his way through to the sound of squeaking rubber. "Oh, hey, Baymax. You didn't have to come down here. It's fine."

"_I detected unusual neural activity when you left." _ Baymax said, coming over to stand by him. His body snapped the twigs off of the dead plants as he made his way over. "_And high cortisol levels. And you are not yet satisfied with my care."_

"How do you know?"

"_Because you have not deactivated me_," Baymax pointed out, much to Hiro's consternation.

Then a worse thought occurred to him: Was Baymax right? Did Hiro really need the medbot?

It was strange, and yet, true. Hiro found himself enjoying Baymax's presence more and more. And although he had been less than helpful during Mr. Yama's confrontation (which was mostly Hiro's fault anyways), Hiro couldn't imagine losing him at a time like this. He _needed _Baymax. But why?

"_What seems to be the trouble_?" Baymax prompted.

"I don't know," Hiro shrugged, heaving a sigh and tucking his hands under his arms. He did this because he didn't know what to do with his hands, a feeling he often had when the underlying stress of helplessness got to him. "It's just…Tadashi. I know you're right, he's still my brother. But…there's definitely something wrong. I think he's angry with me."

"_That is unlike Tadashi to behave that way_." Baymax said.

"I don't know, Baymax, he just _is_," Hiro snapped, throwing out his hands in frustration. Of course, trusting Baymax to be his emotional sounding board was not a great idea either. Did Baymax have any understanding of emotion? He was just a robot.

Hiro just shook his head, wiping a hand across his face. In a whisper, he admitted, "And I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this."

Baymax was silent for a moment. "_Tadashi is not a machine, Hiro. He is not something you can fix_."

"What?" Hiro asked, utterly confused. This did not help him at all.

"_You cannot fix Tadashi because Tadashi is not broken_," Baymax continued with everlasting patience. There was something soothing, something _knowing_ in his tone, that calmed Hiro, reassured him. "_Only machines get broken. Humans are hurt. And you cannot fix hurt. Hurt can only be healed."_

"Thanks, Confucius," Hiro muttered sarcastically, kicking his feet against the roof. "That makes total sense. What should I do, then, O Wise One?"

Baymax, apparently unable to register sarcasm, raised a finger. "_I suggest calling your friends. Moral support has proven to be a helpful force in _—"

"No, no way," Hiro said immediately, pushing Baymax's hand away. "They're _his_ friends, not mine. If they get involved, that means they might find out about what I did. And then they'll tell Tadashi what happened. I don't know what he's so upset about, but I didn't think telling him that I went bot-fighting again is going to help. So no. Not gonna happen."

Baymax deflated a little, disappointed. "_I do not agree, but if that is what you want…_"

Hiro felt bad again, threw Baymax a sympathetic look. "Sorry, Baymax, just…not right now. I don't feel like I can trust them with this sort of thing right now. It just feels too personal. I don't think they'd understand."

"_Then why tell me? I am a robot, and have a lesser capacity to understand human behavior than other humans._"

"That's not true, you're just like Ta—" Hiro stopped himself. He bit his lip, looked away. "Never mind. You're just really nice, okay? And you don't judge. I like people who don't judge."

"_I understand, Hiro." _Baymax nodded, eyes closing. "_If you need me, I am here."_

"Thanks, Baymax," Hiro sighed, leaning against his soft rubber arm, and looked out over the city one more. It was better like this, when he had friend.

* * *

Two fanarts this time! :D Just delete spaces and brackets when copying into toolbar

Fox ninja: the-solar-surfer. tum [blr. c[om]] /post /153628907295/kitsune-male-rough-sketch-of-new-idea-decided

little comic I drew about a year ago: the-solar- surfer. [deviant]]]] art. [ co] m]/art/Silent-Guilt-538036568


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